


Under Pressure

by foolish_snail



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Amnesiac!Steven, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blind Character, Blindness, Cracked!Steven, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Episode: s06e11 In Dreams, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Steven Universe Has PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Temporary Amnesia, around there ish?? Listen itll be fine, author takes forever to post lol, blind!Steven, im so sorry, just.. a lotta angst rn, listen i dont understand tags okay, we’ll get there
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23257645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolish_snail/pseuds/foolish_snail
Summary: Connie offered her hand, though his grip stayed on her forearm.“Um..” his voice was quiet and delicate, unlike she’d ever heard. “Are you talking to me?” He asked, his voice sizzling and popping like static.His head finally lifted. Connie’s gaze met Steven’s, and she couldn’t contain her gasp.Instead of warm, welcoming chocolate irises meeting hers, Steven’s eyes had gone completely blank.Connie pulled away in shock. “Steven?”“That’s.. me?”—Based off of Instagram @twig._  Cracked!Steven sketches!
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe
Comments: 118
Kudos: 367





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a heated phone call, Connie is left to help Steven pick up the pieces of his mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey yall!!  
> Real quick- this fic is 10384828% inspired by the amazing fanart by @twig._ on instagram! If you haven’t seen their stuff, I would highly, Highly recommend it.
> 
> Other than that, I’m really excited to work on a series!! I hope that I’ll be able to keep up with it, and I’m not planning for it to be too long... we’ll see if I stick to that.  
> I hope you all enjoy! Remember to drink lots of water and stay safe during this funky time in history.  
> I love you all!! Enjoy :)

Connie could not focus at all. No matter how many cups of tea she had, or how much sleep she got, staring at the same seven textbooks for hours on end got difficult very quickly. 

She had been preparing for her next big test, mindlessly rewriting formulas in one of her various spiral notebooks, searing the equations in her brain.

Truthfully, she wasn’t that nervous about Trig, but she needed a change of pace from the constant flow of essays AP Lit demanded. 

Thankfully, Connie’s deluge of spiraling thoughts was interrupted by a familiar alarm.

“Thank the stars..” she muttered. The girl could sincerely use a fifteen minute brain break. She sat up from her hunched position, back cracking in the process. Stretching her knuckles and arms, Connie realized how tense she had become.

She paused the alarm, and sent a quick text to her best friend, alerting him of her temporary freedom. Just the thought of hearing his goofy puns and seeing his fluffy curls made her smile. 

As quick as her text sent, Steven’s icon popped up on her phone. Connie took a moment to fix herself up, quickly adjusting her hair and straightening her rumpled blouse. She excitedly answered his FaceTime request. 

“Connie!” Steven cried, his eyes alight. “How’s the studying going?” His camera shifted for a moment, like he was repositioning. 

While Connie was expecting his signature star shirt with a novelty pink jersey thrown overtop, she was glad to see him in a much more casual state. As his camera settled, Connie could make out the waistline of his blue flannel pajama bottoms, accompanied by a pastel yellow t-shirt. 

“As good as I could hope for,” she rolled her eyes, glaring at her weighty textbook. “I swear, the day I actually use anything beyond basic arithmetic in adult life is the day I lay down and die.” 

Steven’s eyebrows knitted slightly. “Geez, is math really  _ that  _ frustrating?” His chin leaned into his palm, head tilting with the new support. 

A sarcastic chuckle escaped her. “Even moreso.” More laughter came from Steven’s end of the phone. Connie couldn’t help but join in- his bubbly laughter infectious as always. “Anyway, what’ve you been up to? Anything new with the Gems?”

Steven flushed. “Um.. I’m not really sure? I haven’t actually seen them in a while,” he said. The camera moved again, and suddenly the wall behind him was replaced with his cream comforter. He held the phone above him in one hand, the other resting comfortably atop his chest. “They’ve been so busy with the school that they don’t exactly have time to stop by,” his eyes drifted away from meeting Connie’s. “Especially ever since I retired.”

Something in her chest sunk slightly. “You know that’s not your fault right?” The boy didn’t respond, opting to continue to stare anywhere but at his screen. “Steven, you did what was best for your health. The Gems can handle picking up a little extra work, they’ve fought in an intergalactic war!”

He still didn’t answer, his mind clearly somewhere else. Connie opened her mouth to cut off his self-deprecating thoughts, only for him beat her to the punch. 

“So-” he snapped back to attention, his eyes almost as wide and chipper as before. “I know you’ve got the math test followed by APUSH, what’s after all of that?” His iconic rounded smile settled back in place, only it didn’t seem to reach his eyes like it had previously. 

Here was a decision. Connie could continue to try to chip away at Steven’s anxieties only to waste her fifteen- uh, thirteen minutes talking in circles, or she could take the bait and let the boy continue to bottle up his insecurities. 

Normally, any form of venting signaled there was a mountain of building worry bubbling under the surface, with whatever he was verbalizing acting as the tip of the iceberg. 

Though she also knew from experience that Steven had mastered the art of Deflecting, and would switch the topic faster than she could keep up with. Once she attempted to console him about the horrifying events on Homeworld, only to find their roles switched, herself tearing up with Steven holding her tightly, whispering words of comfort. 

He was a giver by nature, unable to take unless forced to. He’d been that way for as long as Connie could remember, his altruism gaining allies like Lapis and Peridot- though she couldn’t help but wonder what toll his more drastic acts of selflessness took. 

She recalls the faraway look in her friend’s eyes lasting days after the events of the cluster. Or how the Gems would smother him with pride and love, only for him to brush it aside carelessly. Connie couldn’t help but picture his overworked body, shaking and ragged, when Spinel brought her injector to Earth. The boy was bruised and beaten, his human half rendered to a bloodied ragdoll for Spinel to toy with. She wondered if the gems ever properly acknowledged his efforts, if they even realized this wasn’t a normal life for a sixteen year old-

“Connie? You still with me?” Her friend gave a nervous smile. “Did too much studying finally fry your brain?” 

The girl took a deep breath, solidifying her decision. She saw the determination stare back at her in the corner of her screen, and Steven blinked at her sudden change in demeanor. “Hey, I was just kidding.” He sat up, the rustling of blankets echoing across her speakers. 

“Are you okay?” Steven’s tone was gentle and soothing as usual. 

“I should be the one asking you that,” Her tone was much more stern than intended, but it had effectively grabbed the attention of the boy staring back at her. “You do this thing, where you make sure everyone else is okay, even when you’re not.” Steven went to argue, but his mouth snapped shut, jaw tense and his eyes focused on her.  _ Good. He’s finally listening.  _

“I want to help you Steven! Especially since you clearly need it.” Connie sat up straighter, trying to keep herself from sounding as desperate as she felt. “Please just,  _ talk to me- _ ”

Dreaded chimes sounded from the device in her hand, the notification covering Steven’s expression. Her study break was up. She could only imagine how he was reacting. 

“Sorry, hold on. Studying can wait,” she pressed the snooze without a second thought, only to see Steven return to her screen, wearing a tight smile. He seemed to be blushing, pink highlighting his cheeks. 

“No, it’s fine.” He said, voice remaining calm and collected. “Studying is important. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” Connie panicked as he reached to end their call. 

“What- Steven!  _ You’re  _ important!” Frustration bubbled in her veins. Why didn’t he understand? “You always listen to me and my issues, can I please return the favor?” 

Steven’s plastic grin fell from his lips, the blush spreading across his face like wildfire, its hue seeming artificial in vibrancy. “Connie- I promise I’m fine.” 

“Stop lying, Steven! I can’t stand by and watch you break down anymore!” She was boarding on yelling now, months of worry unleashing all at once.

Caught up in the moment, Connie found herself standing, her gaze locked onto one of the many pictures she had of her friend on her desk. “I’ve seen you sacrifice yourself more times than I can count, I refuse to let it happen again.” 

Picture Steven held a microphone in his hand, smile gleaming and eyes sparkling as he performed. The image was taken a year or so ago, before his magical growth spurt. His fingers were still chubby with baby fat, and his rounded cheeks had a natural rosy glow. One could feel the pure joy he emanated, even through the laminated photo. 

She finally tore her stare from the picture, only to meet eyes with the real Steven. The Steven who had shadows under his red-rimmed eyes, and unruly hair that hadn’t been combed in days. Now though, his sickly pale skin had begun glowing a livid pink. 

Connie’s blood ran cold, stunned with confused panic. What was happening? Was this a new power? Why wasn’t he acknowledging it? “Steven-” 

“No, Connie. You don’t get to tell me if I’m okay or not.” The half-gem sounded more intense than he’d been in years. “You haven’t even had time to see me in person! No one has!” The trinkets along the top of his bed began to rattle. “Sadie’s band broke up because they haven’t had someone to hold them together, the Gems are always at Little Homeschool ever since I quit, Lars is back in space with the off-colors because I got him killed and now he feels like he can’t live on Earth-”

“Steven breathe,” Connie couldn’t keep up with his words, the camera shaking in his undoubtedly dense grasp. “None of this is your fault!” 

Her fearful words fell on deaf ears, as Steven continued to spew nonsensical negativity. “I can’t even control myself! I feel so.. wrong! Everyone is happy now, the Earth is saved,” His words were laced with such vitriol, such hatred. Connie watched helplessly through the screen, feeling like her brain had disconnected from her body. “So I should be fine, right?” He let out a humorless laugh. “I’ve been through so much worse,  _ you’ve  _ been through so much worse! Because of me!”

The camera shook again, distorting the image on her phone. The room around Steven seemed to be tinted magenta, his disturbing glow reflecting off of the posters and paintings lining the wall. 

“I should be fine!” He repeated, his voice rumbling like thunder. “So  _ why do I feel so- _ ” 

Steven’s monologue was cut by a gurgling gasp, the boy’s face suddenly stricken with a look of horror. His camera blurred as the phone fell from his tight grip, before going completely dark. 

A sickening crack sounded, followed by a pained yell. “Steven?!” Connie cried, her phone clutched desperately in her hands. She held the screen inches from her face, like if she just looked close enough, she’d find some shred of proof that this whole thing was a sick prank. Or better yet- a dream! Or maybe she’d see Steven’s happy face cutting through the black, assuring her that everything was okay. 

The line went dead.

Her body was shaking, numb with panic. Their conversation had escalated so steeply, leaving Connie behind in the dust. 

Yet the sun still streamed in through her window, illuminating the particles in the air. Her notebooks still lay patiently waiting on her desk. The clock on her wall still ticked from 11:46 to 11:47 without a care. The clouds still lazily floated by as if her best friend hadn’t just boiled until he bubbled over, burning everything within reach. 

Suddenly, Connie was moving. Fueled by adrenaline, the girl ripped her sword from where it was delicately perched on a shelf, knocking over a few decorations in her haste. 

Unfeeling fingers tugged her curtain away, peeling her window open. She knew she was calling for Lion, she could feel the strain in her vocal chords. 

But even as she ran down the stairs, and ripped the front door open (was that snap she felt from the door hinges, or was the terrible sound from Steven’s outburst echoing in her head?), she couldn’t hear anything over the sound of her blood roaring in her ears. 

The pink beast emerged from somewhere behind her neighbors bushes. Connie brushed away any concern for their garden- she could apologize later. 

Right now, she had to find Steven. She had to make sure he was okay. Had to see him without that haunting pink glow, had to see any look on his face other than the petrified expression burned in her brain. 

The beast took a single glance at the girl, standing tall and stoic with her sword in her grip. The towering feline seemed to understand her plight, and he lowered to her level. 

Connie mounted Lion, and dug her nails into his lush fur, the pale pink a welcome contrast to the vibrant color staining her thoughts. “We need to get to Steven.” She commanded, her voice somehow sounding infinitely more confident than she felt. 

With a blood curdling roar, Lion leaped through his warp. The teal portal engulfed the duo, locking the rest of the world outside. 

Connie could still remember how awestruck she felt warping with Lion for the first time, her arms looped around Steven’s waist, giving him her full trust. The sight of the endless shimmering purples and blues surrounding them always felt surreal and magical, leaving her breathless. Now however, Connie didn’t have time to admire the gorgeous sight. She was more focused on regaining the feeling in her fingertips. 

As they emerged from the peaceful break in time, Connie swallowed. Several scenarios of what happened on Steven’s end of the call played on repeat in her head. 

Lion skidded to a stop, his large paws spraying away sand. Connie hopped off of his back with a thankful pat to his mane before rushing to the Temple. 

Her bare feet sank into the sand with each step, quickly replaced with hurried thuds up the wooden stairs. 

“Steven!” She called, nerves coiling in her stomach, ready to strike. The door swung open, her strength whipping the wood. “Steven! Are you in here?” She heard her panic laced voice, cracking when she spoke his name. 

The living room was eerily empty, with no sign of life. Flashes of Gem Monsters plagued her mind, the image of Steven being mercilessly attacked in the comfort of his own home caused her breath to quicken. 

Would a corrupted gem find its way to the Temple? Would it explain Steven’s inhuman glow, or his sudden anger? Were there even any corrupted gems left wandering the planet? Connie pushed away her branching thoughts, clinging to reality by trying to stay in the moment. 

A crash sounded from upstairs, and the girl instinctively pulled out her sword. “Who’s there?” She snarled, knuckles white against the grip of her blade. “I swear, if you touch a hair on his head-” a muffled voice cut off her threat. 

She cautiously treaded up the staircase, heart pounding in her chest. “Hello?” A weak voice called, with a strange cadence Connie couldn't place. 

Watching as her hands opened the door, Connie held her sword in a defensive stance. 

Surveying Steven’s room, her mind calculated quickly and methodically, playing out various scenarios of possible attacks. It was a mess, his comforter in a heap on the floor, with a bedside table knocked over and several knick-knacks above his bed knocked down. The deep cracks crawling up the wall sent a shiver down her spine.  _ Whatever it was, it was strong.  _

Connie’s grip on the weapon tightened as she noted his phone a few feet from his bed, the screen shattered beyond repair. 

She bit back a gasp as his blanket suddenly  _ moved _ . 

Connie lunged into action, a vicious battle cry ripping from her chest as she leapt towards the intruder. 

Her blade sliced the blankets with ease, narrowly avoiding the mystery lump. Her blade sliced into the floorboards like butter, deepening the ravines running along Steven’s floor. Her attack was met with a helpless yelp, vengeance nearly fulfilled.

Connie ripped her sword from the now ruined blankets, holding it triumphantly. “This is for hurting my Steven!” She cried, ready to strike as she tugged the blankets back to reveal-

Steven. Squirming on his stomach, with shaking hands covering his head. His limbs were tangled in his sheets, leaving him immobile. 

Connie let out a thankful sigh, her sword clattering to the floor. “I’m so sorry,” she laughed.“I definitely overreacted, didn’t I? Making a whole ordeal out of nothing.” She held out her hand to help the oddly silent boy, but he didn’t take it. “Steven?” 

He had stopped moving, his chest rising and falling fairly fast. She gently tapped his shoulder, only to be met with a scared whimper. He attempted to worm back into the blankets, escaping her touch. “Hey!” She kneeled down next to the trembling boy. “Hey, hey- it’s just me!” Steven slowed his movements, breath evening as she spoke. “I’m sorry for yelling- and uh, almost attacking you. I thought for sure that-” she stopped. He slowly sat up, his hand reaching aimlessly for something to lean against. 

She offered her hand, though his grip plopped awkwardly on her forearm. “Um..” his voice was quiet and delicate, unlike she’d ever heard. “Are you talking to me?” He asked, his voice sizzling and popping like static. 

His head finally lifted. Connie’s eyes met Steven’s, and she couldn’t contain her gasp. 

Instead of warm, welcoming chocolate eyes meeting hers, Steven’s eyes had gone completely blank. 

Connie pulled away in shock. “Steven?” She coughed. 

“That’s.. me?” He asked, unaware of her panic. 

The comment only heightened her alarm. Realizing she needed to answer, she gave a frantic nod, unable to get her voice to work through the thick layer of hysteria in her chest. 

Steven didn’t seem to recognize her response. “Hello?” His voice quieted again, hand reaching out. 

Oh..  _ oh.  _

Connie slowly took his hand in hers, and swallowed, pushing down her frayed nerves. “Sorry, yes, that’s you.” She wheezed, desperately trying to remain calm. “Do you know who I am?” 

The boy tilted his head slightly, before mumbling a weak apology. “That’s okay,” she scooted close to Steven, leaning against the side of Steven’s bed. “Can you tell me what you  _ do _ remember?” 

The boy’s thumb brushed along her knuckles, grip almost nonexistent. “Your skin is really soft,” he smiled. “and warm,” 

Connie felt her face flush, but she pushed onward. “My name’s Connie.” She squeezed his hand in hers, the other pulling away the layers of sheets locking his feet together.

The boy’s smile grew, and he mouthed her name a few times before saying, “Hi Connie. I’m Steven.” 

Tears blurred her vision, and the pure disbelief escaped her in a chuckle. “I know.” She brushed his messy curls out of his face. “Can you tell me anything you remember?” 

The weight in her hand suddenly grew as Steven used her as leverage to stand from the nest of blankets on the floor. Connie quickly nudged her sword under the bed, away from any appendages belonging to suddenly-blind Stevens. 

He thought for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing. “I was here,” he placed his free palm on the bed, keeping his loose grip on Connie. “And then I felt a lot, and then I felt nothing.” 

Connie stood alongside him, carefully seating Steven on the bed. “What-”

“No, no not nothing,” he laughed. A laugh more loose and genuine than she’d heard from him in months. “It’s still.. buzzing?” He tried to explain. 

“Then I was here for a while, and everything was really quiet. And then I heard something loud, and I tried to get away, but the noises just got louder and I think I fell? The buzzing got worse then.” His free hand wandered to his stomach. “I heard you yelling, and then the loud things were getting closer, like a BUM BUM BUM!” Connie found herself smiling at his poor description. “and now you’re here.” He finished his story with a dopey grin, completely unaware how useless it had all been. 

Her own smile quickly fell, as the situation settled. The boy had gone from glowing pink, to spontaneously losing both his sight and memory within the span of twenty minutes, only to immediately be attacked by his own best friend. She could only imagine how scared and confused her friend must be.

“I’m really sorry for yelling,” she leaned against him, before analyzing the room with a newfound clarity. The knocked over table and decorations were likely from him squirming blindly in the blankets, but this didn’t explain the splintered floors and walls. 

Connie figured any lingering gem monsters would have attacked them by now, and she sincerely doubted the poor boy would know any better than she did. “Can you try and tell me more about the buzzing feeling?” 

Steven nodded. “It’s coming from here,” he palmed against his belly, and Connie felt something heavy sink in the pit of her stomach. 

Her hands carefully tugged his curious fingers away, before lifting his shirt. 

“ _ Steven, _ ” for what felt like the hundredth time that day, Connie’s breath seemed to be pulled straight from her lungs. 

A splintering crack curled down the side of Steven’s gem, splitting right down the crown and ending in the center. Her shaky finger followed along the crevice, only to pull away harshly as the boy above her yelped in pain. “Sorry!” She cried, guilt flooding her system. 

“What’d you do?” He asked, the robotic echo in his voice seemed to grow worse. She weakly reached out to his gem once again, unsure of what to do next. She froze, fingertips hovering less than an inch away from his gem. 

Connie shook her head. What was she supposed to do? She was used to a lot of strange things when it came to Steven- but this was an entirely different story. She had no idea what the human equivalent of a cracked gem was, she had no idea of where to start! 

How did it even happen? The only sign of any gem activity were the cracks running along the room- and apparently along Steven’s gem too? What was she supposed to do?

Now the only person that seemed to have even a remote understanding of both gems and humans was reduced to an injured, amnesiac with no recollection of his own name-

Something warm and wet hit her hand, and an unpleasant fizzing feeling danced from her fingers to her elbow. 

Connie looked up, and saw that the boy had begun to cry. “I’m sorry did- did I do something wrong? Please don’t leave,” he reached out both arms, searching miserably. “Please don’t leave!” 

His staticky voice doubled in volume, the once worryingly calm expression warped into fear. Steven’s white eyes were wide in panic and his mouth was turned in a desperate frown. He tried to stand, nearly tripping in the process.

Connie took one of his outstretched hands, and steadied him in a tight hug.“I’m still here,” she soothed, rubbing circles into his back. “I’m not going to leave, okay?”

The sun streamed in through Steven’s windows, illuminating the shambles of his room. 

Birds chirped outside the Temple, where Connie was sure clocks were still ticking and clouds were still gliding. She chose to ignore the white hot anxiety clawing in her chest, opting to focus on calming the boy in her arms.

“We’re going to figure this out together.” Her voice was struggling to sound calm, but it seemed to be enough for Steven. One hand continued to draw slow circles on the back of his shirt, while the other returned to his hand. 

The gem seemed to lose some of his tension, and he hesitantly reciprocated the hug, burying his head into her neck. “I’m going to help you,” She vowed. 

Steven nodded against her cheek, smiling weakly. He delicately maneuvered their clasped hands, intertwining their fingers. “I know,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!  
> Take care of yourself, and have a great rest of your day!! 💕💕


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connie makes Steven lunch, and tries her hand at playing doctor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL!!!  
> Thank you so much for all of the love on the first chapter 💖💖 I’m so excited for this series!!  
> Also... the finALE IS TONIGHT!!!! I’M NOT READY.  
> I won’t go into it, but this show has changed my life in so many ways. I’m so happy that the Crewniverse is ending on their own terms, and I’m so excited to see how they decide to wrap everything up. I’ll gush properly later, for now thank you all for your support, and please enjoy!

After peeling away from Steven’s sweet embrace, Connie knew it was time to take action. 

Firstly, she had to assure that Steven’s gem was safe from splitting further apart. This was a fairly simple task on paper, but the teenager fumbled around with the grace of a large toddler. 

Connie’s mind conjured up a slew of possible catalysts, from something as benign as Steven bumping the edge of a table to him tripping down the stairs and rolling off of the edge of the deck, hurtling towards unforgiving ground below. 

Anyway, after she double checked the balcony for any monsters or corrupted gems (just in case), Connie figured the best way to protect Steven was to keep him occupied. After a short discussion of lunch, and a nerve-wracking descent to the living room, Connie sat him on the couch and began to search the kitchen for any food. 

Second, Connie had to find a way to undo the damage already done to Steven. Skilled multitasker she was, Connie quickly shot a text to Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl summarizing the situation whilst scavenging through the cupboards. 

A buzz from the island behind her showed that Amethyst had left her phone at the Temple. Wonderful.

The girl took a deep breath, searching for the silver lining.  _ Garnet and Pearl still have their phones, that’s still 67(ish)% of the gems!  _

After skipping over some moldy fruit, a partially used box of macaroni and cheese (seriously, who ate  _ just _ the flavor packet?), and a couple questionable cans of Colonel Kernal’s Classic Creamed Corn, Connie discovered not only a perfectly good package of biscuits, but a jar of unopened strawberry jam.  _ Perfect. _

Which led Connie to her third item of business, regaining Steven’s memories. While the blindness seemed to be more of a hazard in the moment, Connie knew that worst case scenario Steven would adapt with time. However, she didn’t know how much longer she could emotionally handle watching her friend looking lost in his own home. 

She paused her noisy rummaging, turning toward the aforementioned boy. She half expected him to have caused some form of mayhem or mischief, but instead he was sat patiently on the cream couch. 

The more she stared at him, the younger he seemed. His hands rested at his sides, palms pressing into the cushions. He bounced slightly as his legs kicked like a childs.

As she stared, the soft content look on Steven’s face faded into one that was more nervous. “Are you okay?” She asked, hoping to bring his carefree expression back. 

Hearing her voice, the corners of his mouth lifted. “Yeah, sorry.” his voice was still timid, unlike how she’d ever heard him speak. When one hears the name ‘Steven Universe’, they seldom think ‘shy’.

“There’s no need to apologize,” Connie told him. “How would you feel about having some strawberry jam biscuits?”

While his uneasy look was gone, the girl didn’t spot any recognition in his ivory eyes. She couldn’t help but feel slightly discouraged. 

“Sounds interesting!” His kicking picked up speed slightly, like an excited puppy. Connie barely restrained from teasing him, reminding herself that this wasn’t her normal Steven. 

Returning to her work, the girl cracked open the new jar with relative ease. She lathered a few biscuits with varying layers of jelly, like she did long ago. 

As she melted into an easy repetitive cycle, she found herself humming. A simple tune that brought her back to afternoons spent soaking in the sun, tuning her violin with the rumble of a dryer behind her, a smiling Steven sitting across from her plucking at his ukulele. 

Connie was ripped from her reverie as her calloused hands reached for another biscuit, only to find an empty bag. 

She felt slightly guilty for using all of the biscuits, but she figured it was for an important cause. She made a mental note to apologize to the gems later. 

Rinsing the jam off of her butterknife, Connie turned over her shoulder once again. Steven’s legs had stopped swaying, but his head was bobbing to the rhythm with their song. 

Hope sent her eyes alight, her newfound adrenaline urging her to hurry. 

She brought the large plate to him, hands shaking only slightly. Sitting down, she made sure her knees connected with his.

Carefully, the girl led one of his hands to the large stack of food before them. “Oh! Thank you, Connie.” He said, polite as usual. 

Stout fingers brought the treat to his lips, Connie watching intently (probably to an unnecessary extent). The word  _ please _ buzzed like a mantra in her mind, subconsciously begging for the sweet pastry to bring something,  _ anything _ back to him. 

The boy chewed slowly, savoring the sugary taste, the corner of his eyes pinching from a sudden wide grin.

He swallowed, preparing to say something. 

_ It’s worked, he remembers now, he’s got to, he needs to remember. All of the missions, all of the close calls, his dad, the gems, Lion, Connie- _

“What was that song you were singing earlier?” He asked, before practically inhaling the rest of the biscuit. “It was really pretty!” His words were slightly warped around all of the mush filling his mouth.

Connie’s shoulders sank slightly, a bitter taste ambushing the back of her throat. She tried to subdue her disappointment, knowing it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t remember. “Oh, it was just… a dumb little song me and my friend used to sing.” She shoved a pastry in her mouth, hoping to get rid of the sour flavor overpowering her senses. 

They sat in silence for a bit, Connie trying to swallow her sorrows and the biscuits. Steven tended to reach for the treats with thicker layers of jam, while Connie was partial to the portions with less of the preserve. Their system worked out fairly well.

Checking her phone, she saw neither Garnet or Pearl had responded. She forced herself to eat another treat, her hunger long since satiated. She sent a few more texts to the gems, uncaring if she was spamming their phones or bothering them. This was  _ important.  _

When there wasn’t an instant response, Connie tapped on Pearl’s icon. She held her phone to her ear, fingers drumming rapidly on her thigh. It rang. And rang. And rang, and rang, and rang until Pearl’s practiced pre-recorded voice advised Connie to leave a message. Instead the girl called again. And again. 

After the fourth miserable attempt, she clicked her phone off with an exasperated sigh.

Keeping calm, Connie took another steady breath. She had to stay rational. What did  _ she _ normally do when she was hurt?

When she was younger, still energetic and resilient, her mother was practical. As a doctor, she naturally would follow protocol. Disinfecting the wound before properly dressing it, working efficiently like a well-oiled machine. With scraped knees or splinters, this usually meant Connie got a colorful cartoon bandage and a reminder to be more careful. 

Her dad had a different approach. Yes, priority was still taking care of her injuries, but Doug had made a point to keep her smiling. He would make sure to poke and prod at her ticklish spots, or give her the placebo of ‘kissing it better’ until Priyanka returned from work. 

Something told her that neither band-aids or healing kisses would be very effective in this situation. 

Steven’s munching and humming (he was singing the notes wrong but it still somehow sounded  _ lovely _ ) kickstarted something in Connie’s mind. 

_ Seriously?  _ She let out a short laugh, how didn’t she realize how obvious the answer had been all along? Rushing back to the kitchen, she left a baffled Steven behind on the couch. She felt the cogs in her mind whir, idea already in motion. 

It was a long shot, but it was the only option she could think of. “Okay, so bare with me.” She said, pulling open the cupboard housing the cups. “I know this is kind of a lot to throw at an amnesiac, but you’re basically magic?” She explained, ripping a paper towel from it’s roll. “You’re half gem, half human. So you have these abilities that you use for good, because they’re all healing based!” Connie quickly held the cup under the faucet, filling it with lukewarm water (it’ll do). “For years you and the other gems have focused on saving the world, and it finally happened all because of you!”

She turned back to the living room wearing a proud smile, only to be met with Steven’s incredulous expression. “Okay, long story short, your mom was very important- basically alien royalty- and you inherited a lot of her powers!” Connie shoved the glass into his hands. “Now drink this.”

Steven blinked his wide, blank eyes at her. “What?” 

“Oh sorry, your mouth gets dry when you’re nervous.” She clarified. The boy nodded, obeying her request with a puzzled look.

Connie folded up the paper towel in half, then again, and continued the motion until it was a significantly smaller, puffier square. It wasn’t going to be perfect, but she couldn’t be sure that the gems kept cotton balls on hand. 

Steven sipped silently, both of his hands holding the glass steady. He broke for a moment, glass still half full. “Sorry, but um, what does my mouth-dryness have to do with fixing me?” The static pulled at his words as he spoke. 

“Basically everything,” she said, satisfied with her folding. She pinched the paper, and held it up to his chapped lips. “Okay, now spit on this.” 

The boy’s face screwed up in even more confusion. He hesitantly kissed the small puff, Connie averting her eyes from the partially gross sight of him trying to gather enough spit. 

Satisfied, the girl pulled the now soggy square from his lips. Steven ran the back of his hand along his face. “Why did you have me do that?” He asked, wiping his hand clean with his yellow top. 

Connie didn’t give him a direct answer, instead opting to hand him one of the several throw pillows scattered on the couch. “You might want to hold something.” 

“Why?” Steven asked again, his voice remained careful and slow, not enough to toe the line of frustration. 

Dark fingers gently lifted Steven’s shirt, exposing his gem. The angry crack down it’s middle still looked painfully deep. 

“I’m going to touch your gem now, okay?”

“My what?” The boy asked, anxiously squeezing the pillow in his hands.

“The part of you that’s injured.” She explained, running a careful finger along the healthy section of the gem, where Steven’s skin met the smooth object. The motion sent a shiver through him. “I don’t know how this is going to feel, it’s probably going to hurt.”

The boy above her was shaking slightly. “Okay..” he whispered. “Is it going to fix me?” His voice lilted hopefully. 

Connie stared at her friend’s gem, her faint reflection distorted by the glaring ravine. “That’s the goal.” The make-shift swab in her hand suddenly felt heavy, and the girl heard the chorus of pleas ring through her head once more. “Ready?”

The boy nodded, and Connie took a deep breath.  _ Please.  _

__ Delicate cotton pressed up against his smooth gem, and a muffled cry ripped from her friend. “I know, I’m sorry,” she whispered. 

She tried to persist, spreading the magic across its surface, but the helpless whimpers tugged at her heart, guilt overpowering any lingering confidence she had. 

Quickly removing the coarse paper towel from his stomach, Connie observed the gem. It glared at her, stubbornly refusing to retreat. 

There were no tiny sparkles floating around the wound, signifying magic at work. The crack didn’t retreat, or knit together, or mend itself in any way. Instead Connie saw her own miserable reflection, watching as her expression blurred through a sudden bout of tears. 

His powers had to work, they had to! Connie felt it when his tears fell on her hand! She had felt- well. It wasn’t as pleasant as his powers usually were. Rather than its familiar tickle, his healing had caused more of a charged  _ zip!  _ down her arm. 

What was she thinking?

Connie looked up at her friend, apology on the tip of her tongue, but she fizzled away upon seeing the look on Steven’s face. 

His eyes seemed somehow even more faraway, clouded by something Connie couldn’t place. His mouth was slightly agape as he sat frozen, pillow clenched tight in a white-knuckle grip. 

“Steven?” She hated how scared she sounded, how weak. “Hey, what’s going on in your head?” Connie rose from her crouched position on the ground, lightly placing a hand on her friend’s knee. 

He did not respond to the touch well, jumping and nearly knocking Connie over by the sheer force of his stance. The pillow flew from his grasp, bouncing onto the floor. 

His feet were spread apart, knees loose in a defensive stand. His arm was held out in front of him, bent at the elbow with his forearm acting as his shield. Connie obviously recognized this iconic pose, though the boy didn’t seem to.

Thankfully, his enigmatic trance was sliced, gone as quick as it came, replaced with his dazed look of innocent confusion. “What happened?” His voice was still as frayed and broken as before. Eyes were still only sclera. 

The girl gave him a weak smile, uncaring if he could actually see it. She tugged on his sleeve, guiding him back onto stable ground. “It didn’t work, did it?” He asked. 

“No, it didn’t.” She confessed. Connie glared at the stupid mushy paper on the ground. At the stupid overwhelming sweet jelly-covered-biscuits on the coffeetable. At her frustrated reflection looking back at her through Steven’s half-empty glass. 

What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t waste anymore time- her best friend was confused and hurt without anyone competent around. Connie was supposed to help, but what had she done? Yelled at him, almost attacked him, fed him nothing but sugar, got his hopes up before blindly rubbed salt into his gaping wounds-  _ again- _ and now was sitting on his couch blinking back selfish tears! 

_ What was wrong with her? _

A soft touch on her right hand forced her back to the moment. She nearly ripped her hand away, before realizing the delicate fingers wrapping around her own belonged to Steven.  _ Who else would they belong to? _

“Connie?” His voice was still popping and fizzing, like a damaged cassette. 

Connie used her free hand to wipe at her face.  _ Now is not the time for a moment.  _ She gave his warm hand a tender squeeze, hoping it read as comforting. “Sorry, you’re okay.” She assured. Her brain was already recalibrating, trying to find another course of action, a different puzzle piece that would fit properly. 

“I know I’m okay,” he said, each word slow and deliberate. “You sound scared.” 

Connie let out a brittle laugh, the noise barely filling the room. “Probably because I am.” Her left hand tugged a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. 

“Why?”

“You’re still hurt.”

Steven touched a hand near his stomach, wary to not get too close to his gem again. “So? You’ll figure out how to fix it,” he said. Connie shook her head in disbelief. 

“I don’t know if I can,” she admitted. She couldn’t let the boy down, but she couldn’t keep up her facade for much longer. “I’m sorry, Steven.” She knew it was selfish, she knew how ridiculous it was to be so close to breaking down when he was the true victim. 

She angrily rubbed at her eyes, trying to get rid of that horrible look on Steven’s face before his phone fell from his hands. Or even the distant, utterly hollow expression when Connie had touched his gem. 

Warmth engulfed her, her sword fighting instincts screaming to react. 

Steven held her, reminiscent of how she soothed him upstairs. His hands clumsily ran along her back, one even venturing to guide her head onto his shoulder. “There’s no need to apologize,” Connie could feel his proud smile pressed against her temple, and she could only picture how teasing and cheesy her Steven would be about rubbing her own advice back in her face. 

A laugh bubbled from her chest, startling Steven. How could she help it? This dumb, hopelessly kind boy felt so genuine, so familiar that if she tried she might be able to trick herself that this  _ was  _ her Steven.

_ But he’s not.  _

Returning his hug, Connie continued to giggle into his pajama shirt. “Thanks, biscuit.” She smiled, the bittersweet feeling stinging her eyes. 

Okay, time to retrace her steps. 

Connie had felt so confident with following her Dad’s childish advice. Even though his methods left her younger self feeling much more taken care of, her mother’s methods were likely much more practical. As per usual. 

Even though she knew this wasn’t a human injury (at least not to Connie’s knowledge) she figured it was only sensible to offer her mom’s way a shot. _ What other option did she have? _

The boy surrounding her snuggled into her hair. “You smell like strawberries,” he said, his voice crackling like an open fire. 

Connie slowly unwrapped from him, face flushed, and ushered Steven to stand. She was filled with a renewed sense of responsibility. Not only would she find a way to fix Steven, but she would not break down like a child. Steven was hurt and who knows how long he’d stay that way before it got better- or worse. 

“Okay,” she pressed down her remaining guilt and anger once more. She knew it wasn’t fair to Steven for her to wallow in shame, and less so for him to feel he needed to comfort her. “I’m taking you to my Mom,” Connie explained. She stood, and headed up the stairs to retrieve her sword. “She’s a doctor, maybe she can figure out what to try next.” 

Steven attempted to follow her lead, Connie interrupting his path into the table by placing a steady hand on his chest. “Wait here, I’ll be right back.” He gave an understanding nod, allowing her to venture back up to his room. 

Connie gingerly stepped over the spidery cracks reaching across his floor. She couldn’t imagine Bismuth would be too happy to see the mess. Light still streamed in through Steven’s windows. 

She knelt beside the bed, pushing the ruined duvet out of her way. 

Deciding that blindly grasping around for a blade with her bare hand would be a bad idea, the girl got low to the ground, spotting it’s handle. 

She began to remove her sword, only for the light to reflect off of the blade, and onto a fairly large cardboard box sheltered under his bed. 

It’s sides were distended, like it’s cargo was either too big to fit or shoved in without care. 

Curiosity urged her to see what was inside, but common decency and respect of his privacy made her hesitate. 

The mere fact that it was hastily hidden away was enough to prove that whatever it was, Steven didn’t want anyone to see.

Unfortunately for him, Connie Maheswaran was never one to shy away from a mystery. 

Her eager hands discarded the sword, indulging on the taunting box. 

It made an unpleasant grinding noise as it slid free, a thin layer of dust covering the top flap. A messily placed layer of tape kept the protruding lid shut, with several wrinkles and air bubbles trapped in the malleable material. 

Connie quickly cut through the tape (one wouldn’t believe how handy a sword is in everyday life), uncovering the hidden treasures inside. 

Her childish excitement was snuffed out by the sight before her. 

Inside the box lay Steven’s keyboard, guitar, drumsticks, and custom-made ukulele. All were jumbled in an unorganized pile, the edge of the keyboard and tuning pegs of the guitar causing many of the notches on the box. 

She delicately picked up his ukulele, questions buzzing in her mind.  _ What caused him to do this? How long have they been here? Why didn’t he want anyone to see them? Did  _ he  _ not want to see them?  _

“Connie..?” Steven called from downstairs, followed by a pitiful  _ thump _ . 

Caught in her snooping, she quickly returned the cherished ukulele to the box. “Coming!” She added another bullet on her list of mental notes, before scooping up her sword and rushing to make sure Steven was alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I wasn’t as thorough with my revising, so let me know if you notice any mistakes!  
> Also feel free to comment any constructive criticism in the comments, I’d love to continue to improve my writing and storytelling.  
> Remember to wash your hands, drink lots of water, and ENJOY THE FINALE!! 💕💕


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparing to head to the hospital, Steven starts asking the real questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...hiiiii  
> Hey guys!! First things first, thank you all?? So much???  
> This fic has been getting so much love with all of your sweet comments and kudos!! Thank you all so much!!!! I know that to yall it may not seem like much, but all of the kind words work as motivation to keep writing!  
> Next, I am so sorry for the wait!! I know the second chapter was almost a whole month ago, and I won't give any excuses, just know that I'm really sorry, and thank you all for being so patient with me :)  
> At the end of this chapter I'm also going to be linking to some gorgeous fanart by the person who actually created this AU!!  
> Thank you all so much for being so kind, I hope you enjoy!!  
> 

After thundering down the steps, lingering questions surrounding her best friend’s secret stash swept away, Connie hopped over the side, sword brandished and ready to attack. Her sense of urgency evaporated at the scene before her.

On the floor laid Steven, his face squished against the wood. He hesitantly pushed himself up. 

The coffee table was shifted and the pillow on the floor was no longer by the foot of the sofa, instead resting a few feet away, near the warp pad. She concealed her amusement poorly. “What happened, Biscuit?” She asked, the nickname rolling easily off of her tongue. 

Steven’s disgruntled demeanor didn’t help his recent childlike air. His bottom lip was stuck into a pout and his cheeks were flushed pink (not the sickeningly vibrant pink- a very normal rosy pink). Connie tried very hard not to laugh at his adorable attempt at frustration, opting to offer him her hand. 

“I was here, waiting for you, but I got nervous.” Soft hands knotted into his shirt at the admission, fingers fiddling with a loose thread along the hem. 

His embarrassment was etched into every move, clear to Connie after years of friendship. “I kept hearing noises and- and you were taking a long time! I thought you might be hurt?” The boy accepted her hand, but didn’t make any move to stand. She kneeled beside him, running the pad of her thumb along his knuckles. 

“I was going to come find you, but then I stepped on the squish you gave me. It slid and pulled me down, and I hit the..” Connie watched as he floundered, his palm eventually slapping the wood surface. “The thing!” 

“The table?” She supplied, her tone only  _ slightly _ teasing. At his enthused nod, Connie looked closer, noticing a subtle scratch mark in the floor by its legs. Connie snorted, shaking her head. “Where’d you get hit, dork?” 

Finally catching onto her playfulness, Steven offered her a lopsided grin. “Nowhere important.” His free hand absently wandered to his gem. 

The joking mood sombered nearly instantly as it came. “Your gem?” She spoke it as a question, but they both already knew the answer. Steven’s boyish smile slipped away, and Connie was ready to hit herself, an apology on her lips, wishing to bring the jovial tone back. 

A beat passed, neither moving. Steven had withdrawn slightly, head angled away, and his spine pulled straight. He’s almost her height, with Connie sat on her knees and his hair puffed in its natural coils. More silence, and he retreated fully, solidified by his hand pulling from hers. She missed its warmth. 

Connie returned to business, chastising herself for getting caught up in immature feelings. 

Careful not to touch the surface of his gem, she lifted yellow fabric to display his injury. It looked the same as it had before, the ravine still crawling to the center, stopping just before threatening to completely split the table in half.

“Okay, it looks fine,” she assured, standing. “We have to be more careful though, another mishap like that and....” she sorted through phrases in her mind, “ _ you could shatter! _ ” seemed too scary for him, but she didn’t want to sugarcoat the severity of the situation. “...it’ll get worse.” She winced at the awkward word choice as soon as it left her mouth. 

Thankfully, Steven simply nodded, and pulled himself up using the sofa as leverage. “What happens if it gets worse?” The question was well natured, simple curiosity blatant from his lilted tone. To Connie, it only acted as fuel for her hazardous thoughts.

The question hovered just over her shoulder, breathing down her neck. It cautioned her of the cloudy unknown that came with befriending someone like Steven- the constant fear of what would happen, his hybrid nature marrying fate to dumb luck. Could he even shatter? If he did, would his body survive, with only his gem (and powers) wilting away? Would his organic half follow suit, too dependent on his mother’s life source? Could he even recover from this? Connie couldn’t think of any times Steven suffered a serious injury beyond a black eye or a nasty scratch. Would he be stuck like this? Would he-

“We don’t need to worry about that.” She forced out a laugh, trying to keep the boy optimistic. “For now, let’s focus on getting you to my mom.” 

“Oh, yeah!” He smiled, dreary reality forgotten in his world. Steven reached his hand out expectantly, and Connie linked their hands together without much thought. 

Connie hesitated before leading him outside. Beyond the Temple, choppy seas pushed and pulled beneath frigid rushes of wind. She distantly recalled the chill while sprinting through the sand, cursing herself for not better preparing in her haste. 

She made rounds with her friend in tow, as she scooped up his varsity jacket in a slump near the fireplace, and plucked the pink flip flops that sat on the cubbies beneath the largest window. 

Connie posed Steven like a doll, outstretching his arms before she slipped the soft pink fabric over his skin. 

As she kneeled to lift his feet into the flip flops, a gentle voice came from above.

“I have a question.” Connie hummed in response, smiling at his sweet tone. “So we’re going to see your mom, right? Because she’s a doctor.” His voice continued to pop and fizzle, in a way that almost reminded Connie of a scratched record. 

“Yeah,” She could see where his question was leading, slipping on his left shoe. “Doctors are people who work to help others who are sick, or in your case, injured.” Satisfied with his shambled get-up, she reached for his hand again. 

Steven made an understanding noise, looking a little smaller than before. 

The pair left the Temple, Connie holding the door for Steven. Before it shut, she debated whether or not to take her sword. She doubted there would be any foes to fight, but one never knows when a sword is necessary before it's too late. 

The boy’s gentle squeeze on her hand answered for her, and the door shut with Connie empty-handed. 

As the screen clicked closed, she prepared to shield her eyes from the sun- only to realize it was hidden behind thick clouds. Steven’s flip flops scuffed across the deck in a familiar rhythm, the wind blowing his hair sideways. His free arm hugged his jacket tightly. 

Connie smiled at her friend, and journeyed to the stairs. Thankfully, this trip was much smoother compared to the descent from the bedroom. Steven still held onto her hand like a vice, leaning into her body and holding his jacket closed from the vicious cold. 

Her bare feet hit sand, and the scrape of plastic against wood disappeared with Steven’s final steps. 

They tread onward, Connie searching for a distinct pastel pink and shaggy mane along the muted colors of the beach. 

Before the girl could pull her hand away to call for the feline, Steven tightened his grip. “I’m sorry,” he gushed, pulling her fist to his chest. 

“What, why? You didn’t-”

He didn’t seem to hear her voice, instead he barreled forward with his guilty admission. “Thank you for explaining doctors to me, but that wasn’t what I meant.” 

Connie blinked at him, dazed by his intense change in tone. “What?”

Steven sighed, letting their hands fall back between them. “I mean, I know what a doctor is. That wasn’t my question,” his lips pursed, and he seemed to shrink slightly. 

“Wait- you know what a doctor is?” She barked out a disbelieving laugh. “You couldn’t remember a pillow, or even a  _ table _ , but you know what a doctor is?!” Her understanding of his.. situation was amorphous, shifting and changing in a way she couldn’t comprehend. Every time she thought she understood, thought she had a decent grasp, something like  _ this  _ would happen and it would seep through her fingers back into unknown territory. 

Steven’s jaw dropped, his eyes widening, completely unaware of Connie’s mini-crisis. “Ohhhh,” his lips quirked, and she could practically see a few puzzle pieces clicking together in his mind. “That makes so much sense! The squish was a pillow!” Seemingly triumphant in his epiphany, Connie was left scrambling by herself. 

She squeezed his hand, trying to wrestle his train of thought back on track. 

He apologized, brushing some of the curls from his face. “Um. I know what those things are. I know what a lot of things are! It’s just hard to tell everything apart when it’s all dark, and you can’t think of where you are or how you got there.” His voice had melted from its original pride, volume dipping quieter with each passing second. By the time he had finished his confession, his words were meek, static tugged away on the wind.

Connie felt as if she had swallowed a rock, heavy and shameful in her gut. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, pulling him onward along the path. “I can only imagine how scary this all is for you.”

Steven nodded and smiled weakly. He opened his mouth to speak, only for it to drop closed again. The only sound filling the air was the distant cry of birds and the calming splash of waves. Sand squished beneath her feet, coarse and cold.

Feeling guilty for killing the conversation, Connie attempted to revive his earlier question. “If you know what a doctor is, then what were you going to ask?” 

The boy’s face flushed, holding his jacket firm. She swayed their hands, their footsteps aligned. “I won’t guess this time, and I won’t get frustrated.” She promised.

His uneasy look lifted slightly, chest rising as he took a deep breath. “What’s a ‘mom’?” 

Well. 

Quickly silencing her urge to interrogate him on his strange gaps in memory, Connie hummed in thought. 

“Well, I don’t think there’s really any good way to explain what a mom is.” She admitted. “Sometimes a mom is someone who created you, or someone who raised you, like my mom gave birth to me and takes care of me, but if we’re talking about  _ all  _ moms, then it’s unfair to exclude adoption and custody and such.” 

Connie tapped her finger against her chin, oddly stumped at such a common idea. “I guess it would be more all-encompassing to explain the concept of a mother-figure, sort of like the gems!” She noted Steven’s lack of reaction. “Oh. Sorry, um, the gems are your guardians, and I guess you could see them like moms!” She shook her head. “But that brings us back to square one, huh?” She looked to her friend, offering a sarcastic smile. “Is any of this making sense?”

Steven nodded slowly, though it morphed into a confused head shake after a moment. 

“Okay, let me start over.” She reassessed her thoughts, trying to weave together a concise description. “Basically, a mom is someone who cares for you.” She pondered. “Well, hypothetically. A lot of bad moms don’t do a good job of actually caring for their kids- but don’t worry about that right now!” She hastily added. “For the sake of simplicity, a mom is someone who loves you, and takes care of you.” 

The boy’s eyes seemed to spark in understanding, a smile playing at his lips. “Thank you.” The static was slightly less noticeable than before. 

Connie gave another hum in response, bringing Steven to one of the various rocks littering the sand. She seated him near the water’s edge, careful not to get him too close. 

“Okay, hang here for a bit,” She instructed. “I have to go find Lion.” 

Steven’s awestruck cry of “wait- you mean a  _ real lion?! _ ” was met with laughter. 

She retraced their steps, checking the northern half of the beach. Following the trail of impressions left in the sand, Connie’s hands wrapped around her slender form. Her pale blouse was fairly comfortable while sitting in classes or at her desk, it wasn't so functional when she was combating the chill near the ocean. The same could be said for her shorts, the denim doing very little to provide warmth. 

As she approached the porch of the Temple, Connie debated whether or not she had time to rush inside and borrow Steven’s mint coat. 

Lazy growls cut off her chances of heading to the Temple, instead luring her back under the porch. Connie quickly lowered her stance, pondering whether or not she would regret not grabbing her sword. 

Fortunately, the shadow that shifted between a cluster of purple rocks didn’t lunge for her, or even really notice her. Cautiously proceeding, Connie whipped her phone out. Aware not to sway her attention away for too long, she used it’s light to illuminate the strange shadow. 

Pink fur cut through the surrounding deep blues and grays, his body contorted into a small donut. 

She took a moment to snap a picture (no one could resist the adorable sleepy face of Lion). Connie easily imagined Steven’s joyous look when he would see the photo, likely to squeal about “ _ how his lil’ tongue is sticking out! _ ”. 

Easy to say the tender moment in her mind quickly flickered back to reality. She pocketed her phone. 

“C’mon, bud.” She urged, leaning forward, palms on her knees. “Your boy is hurt still, remember?”

The big cat opened one eye to her, glaring. “Seriously, who knows how long we have until.. I don’t even know!” Connie threw her hands upward in exasperation. The piercing eye shut once more. 

Next thing either of them knew, Connie was kicking small piles of sand towards the beast’s shaggy mane. “Let’s go,” she poked at his ribs with impatient fingers. “Up and at ‘em!”

Lion finally gave in with a relenting groan. His giant paws reached towards the sea in a deep stretch, mouth open in a yawn that exposed his curling tongue. 

He stood at his full height, glaring at Connie with half-lidded eyes. He gave her a grumpy snort. “Yeah, yeah. I don’t want to hear it.” She mused, pulling herself onto his back in a simple maneuver. 

The feline let out a petulant growl, before digging his claws into the soft sand and sprinting back towards town. 

Connie ducked down into his lush mane, trying to absorb its heat. She could barely believe that it was still noon. Every moment away from the poor boy slowed to a painful crawl, twisting thoughts producing a surplus of ways he might’ve gotten worse while she was gone. 

She desperately blinked away the image of Steven laying alone by the water, frozen in pain or fear, the waves consuming his shivering figure.

It was a similar helplessness to when they went to Homeworld, when he lay his head in her lap, projecting himself lightyears away. She had hummed soothing melodies, running her fingers through his hair in a half-hearted attempt to stay calm. 

Or to when the arms of her mentor, pale and stripped of light, locked around her like a cage. All of her friends were dipped in wry monochrome, stiff and hollow in their movements. 

All except Steven, still vibrant and full of life. Life that was petrified, screaming and sobbing, fighting so hard to  _ escape _ the shadowy, sharp nails that dug under his  _ skin _ , and Connie tried to call out to him, tried to break free, to protect him, to do  _ anything useful- _

Lion stopped so suddenly that Connie was tossed forward, her legs tightly wrapping around his torso and iron grip on his fur acting as the only protection from launching into the air. She yelped in surprise, trying to lasso her subconscious back to the present. 

“Connie?” The voice so innocent and gentle and  _ so different  _ from that day-

Lion shook lightly, once again bringing her back to the moment. “Thanks buddy.”

The girl hopped off of her steed, already assuming Steven would need some assistance mounting him. “Are you okay? Was that you who yelled?” The static returned with a vengeance. “It sounded like you and-”

“I’m okay.” She took his hand in hers, bringing it to the velvety fur of Lion’s shoulder. “Are you ready to meet an actual lion?” She hoped that the excitement in her tone wasn’t too forced. 

Even with only sclera, Steven still practically had stars in his eyes. The hand muffled in the sea of pink slided slowly towards Lion’s ribs, in a petting motion Lion would normally refuse to allow. 

“You  _ were _ serious,” the boy exhaled, his other hand coming up to join the petting motion. 

Connie allowed herself to laugh lightly at her friend, her own palm reaching up to meet the soft fur. Lion let out a growl, the rumble carrying so deeply it was felt under the teenagers’ fingertips. 

Steven smiled dopely at the feeling, muttering an elongated, awestruck “So coooool.” 

Meanwhile, Connie could see the warning in Lion’s eyes. She pulled her hand away, appeasing the beast. 

“Wanna do something even cooler?” She asked the boy, ignoring the pink feline’s heavy sigh. 

He turned away from Lion, facing Connie with eyes alight. He began to bounce on the balls of his feet, excitedly nodding with a wide grin. 

Connie hoisted herself atop of Lion once more, trying to go slow enough for Steven to process what was happening. “I’m going to have to pull you up, so hold on.” She said, reaching down to the elated Steven. 

He grasped her wrists with a bubbling laugh, bracing himself for the liftoff. 

Though several years of tennis and sword fighting had kept her strength up, Connie was aware that there was likely a dip in the toned muscle after the accidental hiatus that came with the stress of finals. Thankfully, it wasn’t so long that all of her progress completely melted away, and she was able to pull Steven aboard with minimal straining in her arms. 

Seated comfortably behind her, Steven kicked his leg around Lion’s back, falling into the straddling position that Connie could only imagine was muscle memory. 

He wobbled slightly, wrapping his arms firmly around his friend’s midsection before he could face plant into the sand below. 

It was strange, normally when they rode as a duo, the boy sat up front with her sitting behind, holding onto his waist for support. Though this wasn’t exactly a normal situation, was it?

“Okay Lion, we’re headed to my mom’s work. Remember where that is?” She allowed her words to be just patronizing enough to get an annoyed tail thwip from the feline. 

Steven’s hold on her tightened as Lion began to move, a surprised, fizzing yelp coming from behind her. His curls buried into her neck, his arms lifting slightly to around her ribs to adjust to the close proximity. 

Ignoring her immature blush, Connie steeled her right hand in Lion’s plush mane. Her free palm reached across to the right side of her body, placing it on Steven’s elbow. “I’ve got you Biscuit, we’ll get you fixed up very soon.” 

As Lion’s nimble steps sped quicker and quicker, Connie could feel her friend’s body shake with joyful laughter. 

Even as Lion roared out a kaleidoscope-like portal, Connie’s mind couldn’t help but picture too-smooth ivory tiles. “I’ll be useful this time.” She whispered, unsure of who she was meant to reassure. 

With a gleeful scream from Steven, Lion leaped from the familiar sand through the glimmering portal. It closed around them silently, leaving nothing behind but pawprints in the sand, and the echoes of a boy’s laughter. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh ohhhhhhh  
> I hope it was worth the wait!  
> This chapter was actually supposed to mostly take place at the hospital, but then I got carried away and realized I had already surpassed 3,000 words haha  
> Thank you all so much for reading, leave any constructive criticism in the comments! I love getting feedback, and I'm always happy to improve my writing. 
> 
> ALSO!!! @twig._ on Instagram(creator of this au) made some absolutely beautiful fanart!!! PLEEEASE go check it out, along with their other works! I'm literally obsessed with their style, and the fact that they made art based on this fic makes me so happyfujdsnkdf  
> Anyway check it out here! https://www.instagram.com/p/B-EMjfmJ5fn/?igshid=1c1e9yi6lat20
> 
> Again thank you for reading!! I'll try to get the next chapter out quicker this time.  
> I love you all! Get good rest and drink lots of water!! :D


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dr Maheswaran enters the scene, with questionable results.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!! Hope you are all well!!  
> Thank you all SO MUCH FOR ALL OF THE LOVE ON THIS FIC!! We have over 2000 hits and over 200 kudos?!? Yall are actually insane- thank you so much!!!
> 
> Really quick- this chapter was finished and reread when I was a lil sleep deprived and woozy so Please let me know if there are any issues in the comments!!
> 
> Thank you so much and enjoyy~

After a quick reprimand over intruding her day with barely a moments notice and for attempting to bring a lion into the waiting room (Steven’s exclamations of “But he’ll be so  _ lonely _ out here, Connie!” were simply too much for her to handle) Priyanka allowed her lunch break to be utilized giving ‘the Universe boy’ a good once over. 

The steady thuds of swinging feet against metal filled the room. Everything smelled unnaturally sterile and the floor had been cleaned so intensely Connie could almost make out her own reflection in it. 

While Steven was perched happily on the examination table, his back pressed against the cool wall, Connie sat in a slightly uncomfortable squishy armchair to his right, nearly a whole foot shorter. 

She was originally across the room where the chair was naturally placed in the corner, only a foot or so away from an empty, metal waste bin. Though she quickly repositioned, after the boy shyly asked if Connie would hold his hand. His polite request and nervous look worked wonders against her will, and Connie rearranged the room, plopping down next to him. 

The soft, appreciative smile he offered her made the unpleasant scraping noise and odd height difference suddenly worth it. Even if her view changed from a semi-interesting diagram of muscle structure to a broken clock, stubbornly stuck at 3:21. 

Priyanka Maheswaran stood before the duo, grey flyaways sticking erratically from her scalp. She wore a long white coat, signifying her rank in the building. 

While Connie was maneuvering her chair, Priyanka had equipped a cork clipboard, scratching notes while she observed Steven’s gem. 

“So,” the woman began, voice confident and collected. “Other than missing pupils- which I am going to assume is a gem related issue- what kind of symptoms is he displaying?” She covered his gem once again under the fraying yellow material. 

The woman clicked her pen as she scanned Steven’s figure, out of rhythm with Steven’s childish kicking. “He has severe memory loss and I’m pretty sure he lost his sight, too.” 

Priyanka lifted a curious eyebrow, pausing her examination to give her daughter an expectant glance. “Define ‘severe’?” 

“I mean, he’s literally forgotten everything other than a few select objects,” Connie explained. She sat tall, body still alert. 

She wondered when the past few hours would catch up to her, forcing her weak, human body to slump over in exhaustion. The fear bubbled up more often than she’d like to admit, from grimacing at rumbling her stomach during lessons with Pearl, to pushing down her envy towards the gem’s effortless energy on Homeworld, while Connie was stuck suffering through a bone-deep echo of  _ tired.  _

Only the cheerful interjection of “Yeah!” from a familiar sizzling voice snapped her back to the cold room. She sat a little straighter. 

“I remembered tables and pillows!” Steven smiled proudly. His feet continued to bounce, flip flops discarded to the tile below. 

Her mom nodded, her frantic writing speed contradicting her calm expression. “Tables and pillows, huh?” 

He gave a firm nod. “And snacks.”

The pen suddenly froze, and Priyanka set the clipboard onto one of the several counters lining the wall. “Okay, Steven, can you tell me your name?”

The boy snorted. “Steven.” Connie pinched herself for staring at his lopsided, sarcastic smile. 

“I mean your full name, Steven.”

Suddenly his beaming confidence had evaporated into the rectangular lights above, sucked away until he was left trying to voice his foggy memory. He started sentences only for them to float out of his grasp, his mouth snapping shut in surrender.

A rosy color dusted his cheeks and nose, blank eyes trained low. 

Connie felt his fingers tap her hand, signaling for backup. “Your name is Steven Quartz…” she drifted off, hoping something in his mind would click into place. That he would magically recall his name, then his family, then his life.

Instead, Steven’s free hand picked at his pale pajama shirt, shoulders slumping in silent defeat. 

The thudding of feet slowed, leaving the solitary clicking of Priyanka’s pen to fill the room. 

“Your name is Steven Quartz Universe,” She answered. 

“Steven Quartz Cutie Pie DeMayo Diamond Universe,” Connie corrected automatically, the words already prepared on her lips for… some reason. 

Nonetheless, her mom gave her an irked look, the message one she had seen many times. The  _ “let me do my job _ ” was understood clearly by any Maheswaran. 

Ignorant to the friction, the boy nodded with sniff, clearly discouraged. 

Her mother’s voice was suddenly back to its calm quality. “It’s okay, Steven. Whatever is happening to you isn’t your fault. It’s understandable if you can’t remember some things, and we aren’t here to judge you.”

Her assurance brought a soft smile to his face, not merely as bright as the one he entered with. 

The interrogation continued, with her mom bombarding Steven with questions of the year, to his address, to his birthday, to his family. 

Seeing her mother scribble away, helplessly stumped, Connie began to feel a heavy tightness grow in her chest, a thick tangle of wires and cables knotting further with every click of that  _ stupid pen _ . 

“Greg is your father,” Priyanka explained. “You’re doing just fine, Steven.” 

Her dark eyes wandered to their linked hands, and the girl could see the question forming in her mother’s mind. “Can you recall your relationship with Connie?” 

Steven sighed, slumping against the wall in relief. “Oh, thank goodness! This one is easy.” He sat up again ready to answer, his pride slowly returning. “Connie’s my mom!”

Both Maheswarans froze in their respective parts of the room, the clicking replaced by a short clatter as it fell from Priyanka’s hand and onto the floor. 

Priyanka’s jaw popped open, brows knitted in sheer bewilderment. Connie felt her eyes widen and face heat, deciding that maybe the trash can by the foot of the door was  _ actually very interesting after all _ . 

“I’m sorry, what?” Her mom fumbled. Connie dumbly sat in her stiff chair, watching the shadows of feet peek from under the door. 

“Connie is my mom!” He repeated, oblivious of the others’ confusion. “She loves me and takes care of me.” 

Realization dawned over Connie, as if someone drenched her with icy water. She felt herself hunch slightly, trying to disappear into the wallpaper. 

Finally catching onto the tension flooding the room, his voice grew meek. “Is.. is that not right?” He turned to Connie, seemingly just as puzzled as her mother- who looked mere moments away from malfunctioning. 

“I can explain,” she started, sitting tall. “I told him that we were going to see you, and that you were my mom. He couldn’t remember what a mom was so I had to describe ‘moms’ to him!” She felt her face heat as the others recognized her mistake. “I guess I was a little too vague…”

Her mom looked the pair up and down. “You think?” Though her words were sarcastic, she sounded faraway in thought. 

Returning to the room, Dr. Maheswaran bent to retrieve her pen, her other hand resting to soothe her temples. “Okay, so it’s clear that he has amnesia.” She sighed, moving to pick up her notes once more. “We can easily rule out anterograde since he remembered your… explanation-” Connie leaned against Steven in defeat. “-but this is unlike any case of retrograde I’ve ever witnessed.” 

She muttered something of how he couldn’t recall his own name, and looked the papers in her hands up and down, leading through his minimal papers. 

Connie felt something in her mind click together. She looked up to the boy that she leaned against. “Steven, do you remember someone named Greg?”

Both her mom and Steven gave her a puzzled look. Though Priyanka’s was much more critical when compared to Steven’s gentle air. “Yeah, Mrs. Doctor just said he was my dad.” 

The girl smiled at her newfound discovery, solidifying her theory. She sat straight, making a point to make contact with her mom. “Actually, she said that he was your  _ father _ .” 

Dr. Maheswaran’s eyes widened in understanding. Connie would never admit to the pride that fought against the ever-shifting tightness in her chest. 

“Aren’t those the same thing?” Steven asked sheepishly. “Did I mess up again?” 

“No, Steven. You didn’t mess anything up” her mother still sounded calm, though Connie could register the hint of excitement in her tone. Their shared keenness over any form of problem solving put a subtle shine in her mother's eye. “Connie just proved an interesting point, being that you easily understood the concept of dads, while simultaneously not knowing what a mother is.” 

Steven blinked. 

Priyanka cleared her throat, looking to his blank stare. “A mom is the female version of a dad.” She said lamely. 

He blinked once more, before his mouth popped open in shock. “Ohhhh,” Steven’s head hit the wall, nervously chuckling. “Yeah, yeah I can see why that would be weird.” A red tint danced from his face down towards his chest. Connie didn’t stare. 

Pen tapping against her chin, Dr. Maheswaran’s mind worked to fill in the gaps. “Connie, you know Steven better than any of us in the room,” the cords inside her ribs tugged tighter. “Are you connecting any patterns?”

Connie stared at the frozen hands of the clock. It was a bizarre situation- even for Steven Standards. Why could he remember things like tables, pillows, and concepts like family, but he couldn’t remember what a  _ mom _ was, or anything from his personal life?

Distantly she could hear the boy being quizzed. He assured Dr. Maheswaran that he knew what a sister, aunt, and grandmother were- along with their male counterparts. 

Suddenly, Connie felt so stupid. 

“Hey, Biscuit. Can you name some flowers for me?”

She ignored her mother’s judgemental glance, and instead gave Steven’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “Um, okay!” A disoriented smile wound up on his lips, though he did as she requested. “There’s bluebells, lilies, peonies, orchids, sunflowers..” he counted them on his left hand, head nodding along. “Carnations, violets, cosmos, daffodils…”

The count continued to lengthen, Priyanka continued to shoot unreadable looks to her daughter, and Connie continued to listen for the culprit. “Um, do you want me to keep going? I’m pretty sure we know I can remember flowers.” The boy joked anxiously, the tension choking the room was reflected on his face. 

Connie had enough to satisfy her hypothesis. Nearly twenty different flower species and yet not a mention of… 

“What can you tell me about roses?”

Steven turned his head toward Connie, his glassy eyes lacking an ounce of recognition. He opened his mouth with a confused expression, likely about to question her curiosity.

Then a horrendous  _ crrack! _ echoed through the tiny room, followed by a piercing cry. The sudden ambush of noise sent a vicious chill up Connie’s spine. 

In a beat the once gentle, soothing weight of Steven’s loose grip suddenly pulled tight. The girl cried out at it’s strength, unable to tug her arm free. She began to panic, the hand in hers almost paler, the shiny floor looking too familiar for her liking. 

She pried her eyes open, refusing to fall prey to the memories warping the present. Ragged breaths and choked sobs ringing in her ears, but Connie quickly sleuthed they weren’t coming from her _. _

__ On the table, mouth moving and glitching, words broken and splitting apart like a burning film reel, sat Steven. He was hunched over, form shivering and shaking from what Connie could only imagine was his violent hyperventilating. 

His left hand gripped into his hair, knuckles white from the tense grip. Cries and attempts at speech blurred together, ripping apart only to crash together like waves in a dark, stormy sea.

His deep, frantic breaths and frenzied twitches finally called Priyanka to action, as she placed her hands onto his shoulders in a poor attempt to settle his outburst. 

The touch caused vibrant magenta to light up at his navel. It painted the walls a sickening pink as it flickered erratically, as if someone were flipping the lightswitch repeatedly. 

Three spidery cracks raced up the wall, indenting the surface like it had been rammed by something. Edges of the cream-colored paper peeled away. 

Priyanka pulled her hand away as if merely touching the boy had scorched her. The woman resolved to hold her hands in front of her body, palms defensively prepared to subdue the harmless boy. 

Connie watched in horror, her mother’s fearful words drowned by the desperate gulps of air and terrified whines Steven produced. 

The girl was stunned in shock, pain bleeding from her wrist and beginning to claw its way up her forearm. She couldn’t move, couldn’t help couldn’t  _ do anything just do something just be useful- _

__ And as quick as it came, it was over. 

His horrendous wails of pain had abruptly snuffed out, devolving into pitiful whimpers. He seemed to collapse, exhausted. 

Connie’s hand was no longer crushed under the pressure of his strength, as his hands ripped themselves away, elbows resting on his knees and palms pressed to his eyes. He shook minutely every few moments. 

Free from his clutch, her body worked instinctively, healthy fingers searching for a break or sprain in her left hand. Guilt pooled in her stomach as she clasped the hand to her chest. This was  _ Steven.  _ He would never hurt her. He would never hurt  _ anyone _ . 

She glared at the fissures on the wall, deciding they were too similar to the ones in his bedroom to be called a coincidence. 

Void of clicking pens, kicking feet, or redundant questions, the room was haunted by a dreadful silence. 

The unharmed walls were no longer pink, and the floors were still shiny enough for Connie to see her petrified reflection. 

Any shadows under the door had paused, likely concerned from the intense screams that had echoed through the halls. Connie imagined the looks on the faces of patients and doctors alike. She imagined they look very similar to the one the girl in the floor wore. 

She couldn’t tell if the lights were in need of an upgrade, or if she was really shaking that bad. 

The boy to her left was also shivering, gentle sniffles taking up the space his once carefree banter had. Connie missed it. She held her left hand tighter. 

“Are you with us, Steven?” Dr. Maheswaran’s professional tone was an appreciated break from the torment of overwhelming silence, even if it barely veiled the woman’s true fear. 

He blinked a few times, both the Maheswarans tense as they waited for his response. 

“Wh- what?” His voice was worse than before, the static warping his words, snapping them like a frayed match. His hand reached out aimlessly, similar to when he was stranded on his mattress. His soft call of “Connie?” only added to the memory. 

She slowly reached to intertwine their fingers, wincing slightly as the pain zipped up and down her left arm. “I’m here.” She failed miserably to keep her voice steady. 

Meanwhile, her mother had already began to prod and poke around Steven, eyebrows cinched together. “Has that ever happened before?” She asked, words sharp and quick.

“Has what happened before-”

“No ma’am.” Connie answered, still reeling. She missed the stupid pen. 

Priyanka lifted the yellow fabric hiding Steven’s gem, unable to stifle her concern. 

The girl leaned over, her chair scraping unpleasantly across the floor. A gasp pulled itself from her chest, any remaining optimism leaving with her strangled breath. 

The crack tore its way across the once smooth center of his gem as it had before, but now a second fracture worked along the crease of the crown, marking an angry V in his gem. 

Priyanka’s hand carefully reached to touch the injury, but Connie quickly slapped it away, too scared that the… thing would happen again.

The abhorrent call of her name that followed it brought the girl back from her worries. 

Unable to meet her mother’s eyes, Connie came out swinging. “You were going to hurt him!” She explained to her mother, trying to patch up her mistake. “Last time I touched his gem he got worse, and he’s already recovering from-  _ whatever that was- _ ”

“That gives you no reason to  _ hit me _ ,” Priyanka’s voice cut through the room, stern and stormy. The silence that followed was louder than any words Connie could have said. 

Steven gave a well-meaning squeeze to her hand. It only made the pain worse. 

The woman gave a resigned sigh, rubbing her temple. “I understand you’re worried about Steven, chellam. I’m just as scared as you are.” She removed her hand, dark eyes locking onto Connie. “The only difference is that this is my job. You brought him here for my help, you need to let me help him.” 

Though her tone had melted into one of sympathy, the girl’s mind was already ticking away, replacing the broken clock. 

“You’re right.” She said, standing from her seat. 

“I know it’s hard, Connie. I’m proud of you for-”

“I shouldn’t have brought him here.” Connie recognized the potential venom that could have infected her words, but she only sounded tired. “He’s a  _ gem.  _ The only one that can fix this is the  _ gems _ . What was I thinking?”

Steven began to speak, silenced by Priyanka’s sprouting argument. “He’s hurt. He needs medical attention,” she returned to her clipboard, words fast and harsh. “If we start running tests now-”

“That’s just it!” Connie cried, hand yanking from her friend’s as they gestured in frustration. “You don’t even know what to do! I don’t know what to do!” Steven shrunk away from the noise. Connie cleared her throat, voice lowering immensely at the sight. “No one does, but I’m sure the gems will.”

Her mother stood silent, a statue in her garden of medical supplies and steel cabinets. The girl couldn’t decide whether her respected her mother’s dead expression, or if she hated it. 

Connie wondered what was happening in the doctor’s head, if her thoughts spiraled and swarmed much like her own. She wondered if that expression had been simply used to hide away her true sympathy for so long that it forgot how to do anything else. 

Connie wondered if they looked alike in that moment. 

She didn’t get a chance to search for an answer, because as Priyanka opened her mouth to respond- to maybe try to resolve the overwhelming chill in the room- a distorted voice spoke from the ceiling. 

Dr. Maheswaran checked her watch with a deep sigh. 

“My lunch is over.” She sounded so tired. “I have an opening at 1:45, I expect you and Steven to wait in the common room. We can figure something out.” 

Connie gave a stiff nod, wordlessly guiding Steven down from the examination table. She scooped up his flip flops, and led him through the dull hallway. 

Their silence remained unbroken even as the duo padded through the corridor, teary eyed families and shell-shocked patients with hollow gazes passing them without a moment of sonder. 

The girl lead her friend through the hazy crowd of the waiting room, weaving through bloody noses and hacking coughs. 

Neither said a word as they walked out the front doors, and slipped away through a crystalline portal surrounded by pink satin. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ruh rohhh
> 
> Me wanting to write a scene taking place in a hospital knowin full well that I have no knowledge of medical terms or have even stepped foot in an actual hospital in two years:   
> 👁👄👁
> 
> Yea so long story short this chapter was v... interesting to write. The pacing still feels a little rough (though that’s nothing new for me lol) but hopefully you guys can forgive me and still enjoyed it!
> 
> Also hats off for user wick10 for 1000% predicting the awkward mom business!!
> 
> Feel free to comment what you thought and let me know if there were any mistakes!
> 
> I hope you have a lovely day 💖💕


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Running out of time and answers, Connie goes to an unlikely source for guidance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... hi.  
> So! It's been a bit.  
> I am so so so sorry this has taken an ungodly amount of time. I tried to make this one a little longer to make up for it. Thank you all so much for sticking with me and being patient. All of your lovely comments and kudos mean the world to me.  
> I won't give any excuses, but long story short, this chapter was interesting to write. I had so many different ways it led, and I rewrote it about five times (hopefully that isn't too obvious in the actual chapter).  
> Hopefully it's enough for you all to enjoy, feel free to tell me what you think in the comments. I read all of them. All of the time.

The afternoon breeze, even compared to the air conditioned confines of the hospital, was still chilly. The only form of warmth she could find was the delicate hands wrapped around her waist.

Once Lion had landed a decent distance away from her mother, Connie recognized the strained look on the feline’s face. She ran an apologetic hand through his mane, muttering a promise that they would only need him to get them to Little Homeschool, and then he could rest. 

Thankfully the beast had simply sighed in response, padding peacefully along the grassy hillside dividing the school from Beach City. 

Sound had seemed to be sucked from their bubble, neither of the pair speaking since walking out on Priyanka. 

The atmosphere reflected their silence. Everything they passed seemed so private, like a secret. The birds above and the gentle sway of trees made hardly any noise, and the faraway picture of the sea stole Connie’s breath.

Branches of trees danced in the wind, matching time with the more unruly sections of grass. There wasn’t a human, gem, or animal in sight. She felt as if she were disrupting something important, sticking out as an unwanted component along the serene landscape. 

The painting before her cooled her building frustration. She wanted to soak up every moment of blissful quiet and nature she could before they reached the school, cornered by the overwhelming hubbub of gem life. 

Sure- Connie adored gem culture! She found the history absolutely riveting when Pearl would share droplets of information, and she had fun attempting to grasp the basics of Gem Glyph. It was just that sometimes the onslaught of newly healed gems poking at her in curiosity made her feel… weird. Like she was an animal in a glass cage, meant to be observed and studied. 

She really didn’t think she would be able to handle all of that in addition to her current stress. 

A particularly harsh gust of wind blew streams of dark hair into Connie’s face, reminding the girl of their inevitable arrival, and her lack of defense against the cold. 

She felt herself lean into the body pressed to her back, leeching his warmth.

At her movement, Steven’s soft hand unlooped from it’s hold. It felt up her forearm to her shoulder, ending at her sleeve. He effectively broke the silence, allowing the sea to still spark in the sun and the trees still sway. “You’re cold.” He stated it without any question, simply verbalizing a fact. 

She kept her gaze trained forward. “I’m not.”

“You feel cold.”

“Well, I’m not.”  _ Wow, real convincing, Maheswaran.  _

Steven didn’t dignify her with a response, choosing to unlock his arms from around her waist. 

Immediately regretting her unfair stubbornness, Connie turned at the boy. She opened her mouth to apologize, cut off by a familiar lump of pink fabric held out to her. 

She allowed her hands to feel the material. “Steven, I’m not going to take your jacket.” She smiled a bit at the gesture.

He gave his own smile in return. “Why not? You’re cold, and I’m not. You’re shivering, you need it more than me.”

“Yeah, but-”

“Please?” 

Even without their usual honeysweet chocolate color, Steven managed to slap Connie with one of his well-known Puppy Dog Eyes. 

The jacket slipped around her frame, material catching on her left hand with a wince. 

Connie shrugged the collar atop her shoulders, the boy not hiding his proud grin. The wind was still making her a little cool, but it was muted. “Happy?” She teased. 

She rolled her eyes at his laid back posture, resting on his palms behind him. “Yup,” he popped the ‘p’, naturally leaving Connie no choice but to laugh. Steven quickly joined in, his laughter loose and free in a way she hadn’t seen in… a long time. 

Though the silence had gone, the peaceful moment had stayed. They had fallen into their place among the rest of the painting. 

Even as their giggles faded into the air, Connie couldn’t help but admire the way Steven brought a glimmer of light no matter the circumstances. 

And at the present they were under some pretty overwhelming circumstances. 

The boy slowed his laughter and wiped at his eyes, tugging his pale shirt along with it. Without his sight, Connie freely stared at the exposed gem. 

Somehow the carefree atmosphere they had made sounded much farther away. Especially in contrast to the sharp and pained cries that escaped the boy not even twenty minutes ago. 

Gently, the girl allowed a delicate hand to reach out for his stomach. She didn’t make contact out of fear of causing another… moment, but she simply hovered above the splintering wound in sympathy. 

“Does it hurt?”

Steven paired his curious head tilt with a small hum, egging her to explain. 

“Your gem. You talked about a buzzing earlier, has it gone away? Does it hurt?” She set her hovering hand in the jacket’s pocket. 

Edges of his lips tugged down in thought, and he seemed to look into the distance (though Connie knew he couldn’t really  _ look _ anywhere- it helped with the drama, okay?). “I mean, kind of? It wasn’t too bad at the start, but after I fell and hit the table it got worse.” One of his hands mindlessly wandered to his stomach. “It isn’t a buzzing anymore, it’s more of like a stabbing? Like if I move too quickly it’ll flare up.” A playful grin grew on his face despite his concerning words. “And it’s  _ definitely  _ started burning ever since we left the scary place.” 

Connie simply nodded, unsure of how to respond. She looked away from him, a reinforced guilt curling through her whenever she dared to look in his direction.

The realization that bringing him to the hospital, and allowing her mother to take over only caused him to feel worse tugged in her chest, filling her with dread.

Would their attempts repeat themselves? Would all of her half baked ideas give him hope for a solution that wouldn’t come?

The feelings swelled. She was aimlessly dragging him around, pretending to have answers that didn’t exist. 

Connie pursed her lips, watching the grass and wildflowers glide by with Lion’s steps.“I’m sorry.” Her right hand worked to brush a strand of hair behind her ear, only for the wind to whip it back out of place. “I’m messing this all up.” 

It was a quiet sentiment, muffled by her burrowing into the comforting warmth the jacket offered her. It smelled like something familiar and sweet- bringing her back to sleepovers and jam sessions and picnics near the lighthouse. 

It smelled like her Steven. 

“Oh- no, no! You don’t have to apologize. You didn’t do this to me.” he explained, setting a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

His soothing words only soured her thoughts further. Even vulnerable and lost he felt responsible for comforting her. “I’m certainly not helping.” she mumbled. She knew it wasn’t fair to dump bitter frustration onto him like this, especially since he was already in such pain. 

She shook her head, opting to change the subject. “Is anything hurting right now?” 

Pausing for a moment, the hand on her shoulder retracted. “A little.” The static seemed hesitant. “I mean, it doesn’t feel  _ good _ .” 

The joke fell flat. Connie focused on the emerging outline of the Homeschool in the distance. 

“It gets bad, sometimes. I'll just be talking about anything! Like..” his fingers drummed against Lion’s back as he thought, and his face lit up. “Like Lion!” His empty eyes managed to sparkle, and Connie could easily imagine the stars. “He’s super fuzzy and he makes weird rumble noises.” 

“Are you talking about his growls?”

“Yeah- wait no.” His face scrunched awkwardly. “It’s more like a happy growl. It’s like-” He popped his mouth closed, humming low in the back of his throat.

“Purring..?” 

With a snap of his fingers, the confusion on his face cleared. “Purring! Yeah, cause he’s a big..” As quickly as it left, the uncertainty was back. “Y’know. A big.. him.” Connie picked up on his fumble, his attempt to play cool not standing a chance.

She cocked her head with a patient smile. “A big…?”

Aware that she caught his misstep, he floundered further. “You know!” Steven gestured vaguely, in a way Connie could barely stifle a chuckle at, before shaking his head. “Like a big dog!” 

This time Connie didn't even try to conceal her laughter. “I think you mean  _ cat. _ ”

The boy joined in, giggling. “Sorry- duh!” He slapped a palm to his forehead. “Yeah, yeah I mean a…” his giggles stopped. The smile on his face didn’t melt away, but it certainly faltered. 

She noticed the change in tune, watching as his shoulders tensed. “..Steven?” She worried her lip, slowly reaching out to him. “You still with me, Biscuit?”

His eyes were glassy, breathing deep and slow. His right hand lifted to his face, pointer finger sucked into his mouth. Connie froze a moment in bewilderment. “Steven.” The movement was practiced and robotic, as if his body moved without permission. “ _ Steven. _ ”

Though he blinked, the faraway daze held strong. “See? It’s hurtin’ real bad now.” His voice was small, thick with that awful robotic ting. 

His opposite hand felt around his body, as if lightly attempting to pat out a fire.

“That’s okay, just breathe, okay?” She guided his arm over her heart. “Feel that? Can you try to match your breathing with mine?” 

Whatever she said didn’t seem to register through the fog in Steven’s mind, and he quickly pulled his hand back, forcing Connie to bite down a pained cry as he accidentally bent her bad wrist. 

Only to watch him return to feeling up and down his torso.

She took a breath, understanding that right now touch was no good. 

“Can you walk me through what you’re doing, bud?” She ran her fingers through Lion’s hair, keeping her left hand safely stowed away in Steven’s jacket pocket. 

“Checking.” 

“For what?”

He didn’t respond, moving to feel up and down his legs, occasionally popping one of his fingers into his mouth. 

Connie knew this had to be her fault, she mentioned something that hurt his gem, like Rose. 

She retraced their conversation, peeling back word by word, trying to dissect each moment for the split second that his posture curled protectively around his stomach and his expression hardened. 

“I’m going to say a couple of things, okay? Can you tell me if any of them hurt your gem?” She spoke gently, trying not to overwhelm the boy. Unfortunately, he didn’t say a word. His hands continued to roam around his body, cycling back to running a careful hand up and down each of his arms. “Okay, let’s try this. I’ll say a few words, and you nod if they’re okay, and shake your head if they’re not. Sound good?”

It was subtle, but he nodded. 

A smile rose on Connie’s face, knowing that progress was being made. “Okay, so am I correct in assuming Lion isn’t the cause?”

A nod. 

“And.. nothing about purring? Or dogs?” 

Another miniscule nods. His hands began to slow, resting calmly on his thighs. 

_ That really only narrows it down to… _

“Cats?”

He began to nod, before his head jerked roughly side to side, his expression twisted in pain.

Connie’s eyes widened, watching as his hand grabbed at his shirt. The other flew to his hair, pulling at the roots while pitiful whimpers flooded from his lips. 

_ Shoot! _ “I’m sorry!” She cried, conflicted on the next step to take. Her wrist throbbed up her elbow, reminding her to not touch the boy. “Okay, it’s okay- there’s none of those around, okay?”

Lion grumbled beneath her. 

“...well, there’s  _ one _ , but he doesn’t count!” 

Connie’s words didn’t seem to have any effect, his gem rapidly blinking magenta, similarly to that of the hospital. 

Panic pierced through her chest, slicing the tight knot in her ribcage into a splintering mess. Each loose cable split away, squirming and hissing like vitriolic snakes that dug into her skin.

The girl took a shuddering breath, fingers running quicker through Lion’s mane. 

_ She had to calm down. She needed to help Steven. Needed to be useful. _

Leaning down, she tugged on the pink beast's ear. “Okay buddy, I know you’re tired, but Steven’s in pain and I don’t know what to do.” Her words jumbled and ran into one another, frantic as she hurried in a flustered panic. “I  _ need  _ you to get us to Little Homeworld.” 

Seeming to get the message, Lion’s paws picked up speed, and the colorful oasis of the school rushed closer. The once calming scenery around them faded and blurred into a hazy green. 

Connie scooted backward, looping a careful arm around Steven’s back. She didn’t want to imagine him falling helplessly off of Lion’s back, his gem splitting into pieces as he hit the ground-

There wasn’t any resistance to her touch this time. Instead the boy hesitated with a watery cough, before curling into her arms. She easily wrapped around him as he buried his face into her neck. 

She locked her legs on Lion’s sides, determined to keep them both sturdy and safe. Her fingers relocated from Lion’s mane to Steven’s curls, running through them in a manner that she hoped didn’t just soothe her. 

Pink light eventually dimmed away, leaving a heavy, slumped over boy in her arms. Steven let out a few forced breaths, trying to regain his strength. 

All Connie could do was pet at his chocolate locks and whisper words of encouragement into his hair. 

“Tired,” he muttered, arms falling limp at her sides. 

“I know, Biscuit.” She could only imagine how draining one of his moments must be, let alone two so close to the other. 

The elaborate buildings of the Homeschool began to truly tower over them with every moment. “We’re almost there.” She whispered, and Steven mumbled something unintelligible into the pink jacket. 

Lion let out a fierce roar, bounding onto the grounds of the school with bustling energy. 

Connie didn’t ignore the pattern emerging. The words so far that had coaxed a negative reaction were ‘rose’ and ‘cats’. Neither of which he could remember when prompted, along with the concept of moms. 

The girl worried at her lip, glaring at the approaching space ahead. The importance of the word ‘rose’ seemed relatively clear to her, bringing with it the immense responsibility and mistakes that his mother had born him into- but cats? 

He hadn’t had any issue with the animals as far as she knew. She could recall his old immature obsession with the feline themed ice-cream, Amethyst’s regular transformations into one, even his own pets! 

She just couldn’t put two and two together. Connie felt so close to cracking the mystery open, she could feel it niggling in the back of her brain.

It was all one big puzzle- messy and unorganized. Somehow, she had assembled the edges decently and was working steadily inward. Yet with each successful click into place, a handful of new pieces with a completely new shape and color scheme cluttered her workspace. 

To call it overwhelming would be an understatement. 

A harsh vibration shocked her back to the present, a section of Steven’s hair puffed from where her hands had broke the coils of hair. 

She pulled the source of the buzzing from her jean pocket. The phone displayed her mother’s caller ID, along with a few text messages.

Clicking her ringer off, Connie carefully slipped her phone away. There were more important issues at hand. 

She felt more justified in her decision once she glanced at the boy in her arms. 

The rapid shifting of Lion’s steps seemed to slow, until the trio landed on the inside of Homeworld’s limits.

_ Thank the stars. _

__ Lion stood proudly for a moment, the wind blowing his hair in a graceful moment that would be plucked straight from a renaissance painting. 

Until he flopped unceremoniously onto his belly. His limbs stretched outward, his tongue lolling in a grand yawn. 

Connie thankfully had enough experience with their steed, and was able to lean herself and her friend to the side just before either had the chance to be trapped under Lion’s fuzzy frame. The beast let out an exhausted sigh. 

The pair climbed down from Lion’s back. Connie scritched behind one of the feline’s ears. “Thank you, rest easy bud.” 

All he gave was a flick of the ear, and another sigh. She deemed it well enough. 

Her phone dinged again in her pocket. 

She ignored it.

Staring into the onslaught of color and shapes, she felt the snakes in her stomach swirl angrily. The gems had to be somewhere inside. 

A soft voice grounded her. “What now?” He was clutching his shirt, thick fingers shaking with their grip. 

“You rest too,” she decided. They sat leaning against Lion, the pink chest rising and falling with each snore. 

She observed the nearby gems, none of which she recognized. She didn’t know how far they were into the community, and she didn’t know where any of the Gems would be at…

A quick glance to her phone displayed it was 12:53. The gems could be anywhere in the school, and she couldn’t keep dragging Steven around aimlessly when he was recovering. 

She rolled her left wrist around in her pocket, trying to remind herself of the stakes. How she was wasting precious time just sitting here  _ thinking _ -

“Connie?” 

“Sorry, I’m here.” Reaching out, she laced their fingers together. He loosened slightly, the hand covering his gem less tense. He leaned against her, head falling on her shoulder. 

“M’tired.” He mumbled into her hair. “Can we stop moving for a second?” 

Icy guilt flushed through her veins. She had been tugging him along on a wild goose chase, leading to deadend after deadend. Any hope he had of getting better must be slipping away with every passing moment. “Of course.” Her voice was gentle, trying to allow for them to fall back into the simple peace. 

She knew they couldn’t really afford to waste any time, with Steven’s condition boiling down to a ticking time bomb, but she figured that the extra stress would likely make things worse. 

Besides, it was kind of nice to pause their frantic adventure. 

Settled between the buzz of Homeschool, and the serene atmosphere of the grassy plains, she allowed herself to breathe. 

The stress of the day washed over Connie, tugging at her and urging her to keep moving. But, a sleepy boy curled into her, and his breath ghosted along her collarbone, only displaying his vulnerability further.

She watched as the clouds dragged by, like they had up in his bedroom. Her thoughts begrudgingly slowed, pausing the endless attempt to piece together the mystery of Steven Universe. 

Letting go of the box of instruments, the mentions of roses, cats, and moms, and two innocent blank eyes, pushing aside the puzzle pieces for another time. 

Surrounded by warmth on all sides, and the soothing weight (and familiar scent) of Steven’s jacket on her shoulders, Connie allowed herself to close her eyes. 

Her phone still buzzed periodically in her pocket, and the wind still bit at any exposed skin, but she felt herself slowly slip away into the blissful moment. 

—-

_ A gentle late afternoon breeze flowed across her skin, the sound of a facile melody following suit. She sat, failing to multitask as she listened breathlessly, the words and pages beneath her fingertips seemingly obsolete.  _

_ They sat on a familiar stone sculpture, cradled safely in the palm of her hand. Her text and note books laid haphazardly about on the platform, taking up almost every inch of space. Except- just a foot or so beyond the warp pad.  _

_ He had a content look on his face- not quite smiling, but not frowning either. His eyes lit up in the orange sun rays, the sweet brown shimmering a deep gold.  _

_ The once calming breeze swept up one of her loose leaves of paper- stealing a thoroughly highlighted page of notes. She rushed after it blindly, her actions fueled by the panic of having to begin the assignment again.  _

_ A careful hand reached out, concern tainting the pure gold.  _

_ He said something about a break, already working to stack all of the print outs and writings into a neat pile.  _

_ The assignment was due soon, in a day, no, maybe two days. Her head hurt, her eyes were sore, and her hands were cramping from holding her pen too long.  _

_ How could she decline? _

_ Together now, every last shred of schoolwork tucked away into her bag for later, they sat next to the crystal pad near where the smooth surface branched into elegant fingers.  _

_ He continued to mindlessly pluck notes from his ukulele, eyes closed, lost in the simple rhythm.  _

_ Even after sitting for so long, her bag tucked behind her where she couldn’t see, her mind was still buzzing. Thoughts whirled mad, criticizing her for not squeezing every ounce of productivity from the seconds scraping by.  _

_ He seemed to notice (he always notices) and he offered to teach her something. Nothing special, just a song he wrote, or the melody to a show they both watched. Something simple and plain.  _

_ Compared to the dizzying complexity of numbers and vocab words and formulas and dates, simple and plain felt like heaven.  _

_ Talking her through the hand placements, she attempted to stumble through the song.  _

_ Unfortunately, violin and ukulele were extremely different instruments. _

_ Another offer was placed on the table, this time for a new method of teaching. She accepted, not fully listening to the details. She just needed to get it right, to get something right that day. _

_ Then there was an encasing welcoming warmth, his hands looping around hers and guiding her to play the chords and stum the strings.  _

_ She let his sturdy fingers lead her long calloused ones along the frets.  _

_ She let his soothing humming work to smooth out the wrinkles and edges that plagued her mind, slowing her thoughts and rounding out ther corners until she could comfortably hum along.  _

_ They muttered apologies when they accidentally bumped, and they giggled when a crude chord echoed from the ukulele. He had roped her back down to Earth, allowing her a moment to ignore the heavy weight settling in her backpack and in her stomach.  _

_ It was nice.  _

—-

Rather than wake up on her own terms, a shrill voice yanked her from her sleep. She sat up straight, eyes frantically searching for the source of the noise. 

There was soft snoring coming from Steven, who’s full weight was now against her. It reminded her of something from her dream.. but the sensation was slipping through her fingertips as she forced herself awake.

After blinking herself to consciousness fully, Connie debated ignoring the strange sound. Then she recognized the gem attached to it. 

“Steven! Is that you?!”

The girl turned her gaze to witness a hovering silver object gliding towards them, with a squirming green blob dangling underneath. 

Peridot excitedly waved her free hand, calling Steven’s name. 

The boy in question was still curled into her side. He slowly awoke, eyebrows cinched together. “Wha..?” He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, chin still rested on Connie’s right shoulder. “Steven as in me?” 

She nodded, watching as the small green gem approached. She attempted to lower the lid towards the ground in a smooth landing, only to catch her foot and faceplant into the grass.

The duo winced, Connie assuming Steven was more startled by the loud  _ clang!  _ of metal slamming into the ground. 

A beat passed, and Peridot was scrambling back to stand, hurrying towards them. “Steven!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!” She glanced at Connie. “And Steven’s friend. I see you’re here too.”

The teenager nodded stiffly. “Hi Peridot.” She looked back at the now dented trash can top, her head tilting to the side. “What were you doing out here? Don’t you have classes to run?”

Peridot waved a hand. “Not at the moment. This time slot is my ‘lunch break’.” She smiled, aiming her rambles to Steven. “I was just going to go look for Lapis on the roofs, when I saw this giant pink monster running towards the Homeschool!

“Being the brave and loveable hero I’ve grown to be, I figured I would scope out the situation.” Her gloved hands rested on her hips, feet shoulder width apart in a dramatic pose.

The stance dropped after a moment, as Peridot glared at the pair's steed. “Turns out it was just Lion, but I figured where Lion goes, Steven goes!! And here you are!!” Her smile was prideful. 

Connie nodded, sitting up away from her lazed position. “That’s great Peridot, but-”

“Oh my STARS, what happened to your vision spheres!?” She scrambled to sit in front of Steven, her hands grabbing his face and pulling his eyelids back.

The boy froze at the sudden invasion of space, his soft hands tugging on Connie’s jacket for backup. 

“Peridot, stop. He can’t see.”

“Clearly! They’re completely blank!” Her hands squished and prodded Steven’s face, her expression pinched in confusion. 

As the intruder poked at him, checking his ears and nose for any anomalies, Steven stuttered out a question. “Sorry, what was your name? Peridop?”

Connie swallowed as Peridot pulled away, the gem’s eyes wide. “Peridop?  _ Peridop? _ ” A smile tugged at her lips, and she let out a squeaky laugh. “Oh- Steven! This is one of those Earth pranks Amethyst has been telling me about!” She made a show of slapping the star on her leg. “Absolutely hilarious. I prefer this  _ much  _ more than Amethyst’s pranks.” 

“No- Peridot. This is serious, he really doesn’t know who you are. His gem is cracked.”

At the word, Peridot paused again. Her constant change of energy caused Connie to run at her temples. “Cracked..? But he’s-” 

Steven lifted away the pale fabric, revealing the horrid mess. A shiver rolled through Connie’s system in sympathy, the jagged ravine looking as painful as she assumed it was.

Peridot leaned closer, and Connie could practically see the gears turning behind her visor. “What caused this? I can’t imagine what kind of damage would need to be done to crack a Dia-”

Her eyes widening, Connie slapped her good hand over Peridot’s mouth. “Don’t- certain words make it worse.” She glanced to the crack, imagining it reaching further at the word.. possibly even making it all the way across, his skin turning sickly pale with a bloodcurdling shatter-

“Make what worse?” Steven’s voice was still backed by an unpleasant fuzz, despite his pleasant tone. 

Connie pushed away the question, focusing on the baffled Peridot in front of her. “I’m not sure what caused it.. I was just talking with him on the phone.” The hybrid in question yawned, leaning back against Connie, opting to tap out of the conversation.

She started running her fingers through his hair again, quieting her voice. “We started arguing about how he wasn’t.. doing great, and he freaked out. He was saying all of this worrying stuff, and then he just stopped. I rushed to the Temple to check on him, and I found him confused and blind. Almost all of his memory is completely gone.” She looked at the now sleeping figure. 

Peridot made a face, serious and concerned in a way Connie hadn’t seen her wear before. “.. was he glowing pink?”

She nodded. 

The solemn look plaguing Peridot’s face only worsened.“He was doing that when I last saw him too. We decided to rewrite the horrendous excuse for a Camp Pining Hearts reboot- which, by the way, has absolutely  _ no  _ merit as a proper meep morp,  _ or  _ continuation of the series- through his dreams.” Peridot recounted. Connie attempted to follow along, mentally sifting through all of her unnecessary details. “Long story short, each attempt was more convoluted than the last, with each ending with him crying and.. pink-ifying.

“We had an emotional moment, where I promised he would still be my favorite whether he was helping me or not- yadda yadda.” Peridot rolled her hand, glazing over their bonding moment. Connie blinked a bit, puzzled at her nonchalance. 

Before she knew it though, Peridot was back to inspecting Steven, muttering things and shaking her head. 

A sharp breeze cut past the trio, blowing some of Lion’s mane into Connie’s face. Steven shifted in his sleep at the motion, curling more towards Connie with a slight shiver.

Something in her chest fluttered at the sight. He seemed so much smaller than she had ever seen him. 

Even before his sudden growth spurt, when she felt as if she towered over him, he still felt confident and strong. He was bubbly and loose, carefree in a way that helped her find those traits within herself. 

But he never felt…  _ small.  _

Especially within the aftermath of Era Three kickstarting. Along with his newfound height, Steven had seemed.. different. Not in a way she could properly name, but those light moments that came with Steven being himself had tapered off, until they had disappeared all together. 

He no longer sent her a soft smile when their eyes met. He didn’t hum aimlessly as they strolled down the boardwalk. His hands didn’t splay outward with spread fingers. Most certainly, he didn’t have that spark of light that the boy attempting to ride his bike in the sand had. 

She couldn’t say that this version of Steven did either- but he wasn’t as heavy. Whether it was his easily confused nature or his soft tone of speaking, Connie was sure that if she were any stronger she could scoop him up in her arms and carry him around all day. She wanted to protect him. 

The thought of protecting Steven was nothing new- but this was the first way in a long time that she was more worried that he couldn’t protect himself. 

“-he’s holding up surprisingly well for such a severe split.” Tuning back into Peridot’s rambles at another cold breeze, Connie chastised herself for getting swept up in her head. “Any lesser gem would surely have shattered to pieces by now..” The human paled at the words, taking a calming breath. 

“I came to find the Gems. I haven’t been able to contact them at all today-” her explanation was cut off by a barking laugh, Peridot’s shoulders bouncing with her glee. “What’s so funny?”

Laughter dying off, she stood with her hands back on her hips. “Don’t you know them AT ALL? Pearl and Ruby are off on a retreat with a few of the newer gems, showing off the more rural areas of Earth. Pearl always insists they turn off their devices, to-” she brought her hands up, nodding her fingers in quotation marks. “‘become one with nature’. No wonder you can’t reach them.”

“What about Sapphire and Amethyst?”

She shrugged, arms crossed and eyebrows pulled together. “You think I have their schedules memorized?”

A beat passed, Connie hesitantly nodding. 

“Well you’d be right! I do. Amethyst has her ‘How to Decide Stuff For Yourself’ seminar, so she could be anywhere in Beach City. Oh! And Sapphire is running a meditation class. She could be unreachable for.. a while.”

The teenage could feel her frown grow as Peridot spoke. “Is there anyone we  _ can _ ask?” Her right hand paused in Steven’s hair for a moment, and she couldn’t help but notice how soft it felt. 

Peridot hummed, a hand resting under her chin. “Well the only other gem that I’m aware of cracking would be Lazuli.”

Memories flashed behind Connie’s eyes, chilling her body with the familiar feeling of being encased in icy water. Mirror images of her fellow Crystal Gems attacking, their appearances warbled and warped through the freezing orb. “Oh… right.” 

Suddenly, the dented lid laying a few feet away was flying towards them. Peridot effortlessly held her hand out, catching it with a simple swipe. “We could ask if she knows how to fix this!” 

The green gem hopped onto her unorthodox transportation. “She hasn’t mentioned it much, so I never thought to ask how it got resolved.” She held a hand out to the sleeping Steven, right past Connie. 

A nervous laugh escaped the girl. “He needs rest, Peridot. I think it’s best if he stays here.” 

“Well then, you’ll come with.”

She opened her mouth to protest, before the familiar sharpness of guilt sliced her words into dust. 

As much as she wanted to stay and passively guard him, she already wasted enough time snoozing away instead of searching for a solution. She kicked herself for forgetting how time sensitive the task was. 

They couldn’t afford Peridot to get sidetracked, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if they sat around while someone else did all of the heavy lifting. Connie had to be there to take action.  _ She had to be useful.  _

She carefully stood, making sure that the boy could still lean against Lion without falling. Checking that he was steady, and that the thick wall of Lion’s mane would keep the harsh temperatures at bay, she ran a hand through pink fur. “Watch him while we’re gone, okay bud?”

The beast responded with a heavy sigh, his tail flicking and curling towards Steven. 

Peridot began to hover into the bustling world of Little Homeschool, already babbling about possible methods to fix Steven. Connie couldn’t listen. She readjusted the jacket around her shoulders, reminding her what was at stake. The puzzle pieces were back, and now she had to somehow part ways with the one person she swore so long ago to protect. 

_ She couldn’t stand idly by and watch him get hurt again.  _

Steven smiled a little, eyes still shut and his figure still relaxed. A momentary debate spun in her mind, before the last of her caution was tossed to the biting wind. 

She pressed a light kiss to his forehead. 

“We’ll be right back, I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall remember cat fingers  
> steven sure doesnt lol
> 
> Okay on a serious note- THIS ONE WAS REAL HARD. I was SUUUPER nervous about writing new characters beyond my usual Steven and Connie banter, and I wanted to make sure pacing felt consistent and natural. Even after three whole months I'm not sure if I properly accomplished that though haha. Hopefully if this chapter wasn't your cup of tea the next will be better!  
> Anyways- thank you so so much for reading!!! Leave a comment if you so choose, and take a quick snack break!! You deserve it.  
> I love you all so so much!! :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unlikely trio discuss how gems are made, and how they are broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been far far too long- I am so sorry!! I know it probably won’t make up for the wait, but I’m back!  
> Basically, after SUF ended I didn’t think anyone really was interested in the show anymore, and I found myself uninterested in it too.  
> Thankfully, I found my inspiration again (rewatching the first few seasons is sincerely so comforting), and your guys’ kind comments made me believe people want to see how this ends!! So, here we go!!  
> I hope you enjoy!! 💕

He woke up warm. Something cool and dewey tickled at his arms, (grass..?), and the squishy thing he laid on rose up and down (Lion!), much like his own chest. 

The buzzing was still there, 

Sitting up with a stretch, the warm disappeared and was replaced with a frigid chill from the wind. He leaned back against the welcoming fuzz of Lion, and tried to recall how they got there. 

His memory felt like Lion, squishy and malleable in a way that didn’t make sense. Memory was supposed to be something concrete. Instead, his pictures of the day felt like shaky crayon drawings. Unconfident and unreliable. 

He remembered waking up somewhere tangle-y (blanket?) and then he went downstairs. Then he went for a walk in the sand. Then he went somewhere.. cold? And scary. The floor was smooth and the noises were loud there. Beeping and talking and… something happened there? He couldn’t remember. 

It felt important, but trying to think about it just made the pain in his stomach worse. 

After tossing the thought around, he decided that it couldn’t have actually been that important. They were only there for a few seconds, after all. Wait- ‘they’? Who was ‘they’?

‘They’ probably included himself, since he was there, but that left a gap in his thoughts. A scribbled out portion in the drawing, leaving a cluster of angry wax. 

He leaned across the grass, whispering to Lion. Trying to mold his memory in a way that made sense. “Did you go with me to the scary place?”

He assumed the strange exhale he heard was from the creature in question. 

He sat back up straight, the damp condensation from the grass clinging and chilling his shirt. 

Okay. Think. Who was with him the whole time? Who was at the scary place, the tangle-y bit, and fed him that biscuit jam goodness?

He reached for Connie’s hand, missing the comfort. 

Wait- “Connie!”

His revelation was ruined as his hand was only met with more cool grass. He patted around, searching for anything warm and soft that smelled of strawberries and clean laundry. “Connie?”

The only response was the whistling of the wind.

—-

It wasn’t nearly as crowded as she expected. 

After ultimately shutting her phone off to be rid of the obnoxious buzzing, the rest of her surroundings weren’t as overwhelming as she feared. 

Connie had stepped foot into the grounds of Little Homeschool before, albeit briefly. Back before Gems had dispersed throughout Beach City.

Most of the Gem population was condensed within the confines of the school, with classes being held everywhere she walked. The newly healed gems had shiny eyes, full of confusion and wonder at the spectacle the Earth had morphed into. 

Now, Connie could only see a handful of sessions taking place, with chatting and colorful silhouettes outlining windows. 

Peridot marched with her usual confidence, trash lid discarded, rambling away. Everytime Connie tried to listen back in, the topic had switched to something completely new. 

A few eyes wandered to Connie as they maneuvered through the maze of buildings. She could feel every gaze stick to her like cobwebs.

Fortunately, she didn’t have the energy to be bothered with the few curious gems that stared at her. She used to ponder what they thought of her, or if she was the first human they had seen since the war. Or if their roaming eyes were scanning for her gem, the intrusive gazes trying to garner a clue as to what she was. 

Nope. She wasn’t thinking about that at all. Instead, all of her thoughts were still lingering behind, lounging next to a sleeping boy.

She rolled her sore wrist, her other hand shoved into Steven’s jacket pocket. 

“-I mean, really! If she wanted to go ahead with the Summer Social as per usual, then she wouldn’t have needed to inform the  _ entire  _ Blue team!” Connie nodded along, the conversation once again drifted to a topic she still couldn’t touch. 

The pair cut through a small patch of grass, where a pair of quartzes chatted casually in the cool shade of sparse trees.

“Didn’t you say that you were looking for Lapis on the roofs? Why are we walking?”

“I contacted and pinpointed Lazuli using my device while you were staring at nothing.” Peridot stated, her signature tablet hovering next to her. It displayed a very brief text conversation between the two. 

“... oh.”

Connie kept following Peridot, who seemed assured in their path. They neared a small clearing, where a faux-park area was housed. There sat a couple of benches, one or two in use, alongside a few poorly trimmed shrubs. It was strange, seeing how seamlessly the aliens had blended with human structures and customs. Connie wondered how much input Steven had in design. 

She hugged the jacket closer. 

Nestled between a cluster of trees was an impressively sized greenhouse, a diverse variety of plants spilling from every corner. 

Peridot’s voice cut through the calm courtyard, scaring a flock of birds from the trees. “She should be right in here!!”

There weren't many gems lounging inside the glass building, but Connie noted a Citrine and Tourmaline who turned to watch them enter. They towered over a winding trumpet vine, the buds ready to burst and bloom. 

Toward the back, where sunlight was filtering through the leaves of a few painted hanging pots, stood a familiar blue figure.

Lapis’s gaze was concentrated on a tall, blossoming specimen with leaves the size of a human palm. She was manipulating small drops of water onto the petals of a blooming red flower into an asymmetrical pattern. Next to the set up was an untouched easel, with red and green watercolors ready for use. 

Peridot lit up like a lightbulb, waving her stubby arms to grab Lapis’s attention. “WE’RE BACK!!”

The floating orbs of water seemed to shiver and freeze in place as Lapis turned. “We?” 

The terraformer’s eyes locked onto Connie in a thoughtful stare. Connie couldn’t find a hint of recognition.

“Connie has brought some.. unfortunate news regarding Steven-”

“Is he okay?” The translucent blobs soaked back into the soil of one of the many plants. The ice to her voice made Connie tighten the material around her shoulders. 

Of course, Lapis noticed. “Isn’t that his? What’re you doing with it?”

Before Connie could respond, Peridot once again intervened. “I believe it’s some form of comfort object.”

_ Comfort object? She was just borrowing it!  _ “I can speak for myself-”

“Back to my point,” Peridot didn’t seem to notice Connie’s mounting frustration. “Steven is currently having some issues with his physical form, and we thought you would know what to do.” She smiled wide, as if that would soften the blow. “So! What do we do.”

Lapis blinked at her for a moment, before turning to Connie. Her arms crossed across her chest as she looked the human up and down. “What happened?” Her once over felt very different from the other gems’. 

_ Here we go again _ . 

“I was talking on the phone with him, and he started saying some really worrying things.” The throb in her wrist started up again. She carefully rolled it, the baggy sleeves of Steven’s jacket falling over her fingertips. She forced disdain at the tranquility she felt.  _ Comfort object, yeah right.  _ “There was a loud noise and he stopped responding. When I got to his house-”

“His gem is cracked!!” Peridot interjected. Once again. 

Lapis’s eyes went wide, her mouth hardened in a thin line. “Right down the center. I can only assume it’s been getting worse over time.” Peridot explained, blunt and analytical in her observation. 

The taller gem kept staring at Connie, the familiar, subtle glare in her pinpricked gaze made the human bite her cheek. “When did he crack?”

“This morning-”

“Judging by the shape of the marks and comparing their depth, I would say…” Peridot scooped her tablet from the air, sketching a crude image of Steven’s gem. “Around 10:47.” She held up her drawing to Lapis, like a small child would show their parents. 

Though Lapis seemed to look straight through the tablet, sights still pinned on Connie. “You let him stay like that for nearly  _ three hours _ ? Do you have any idea what kind of pain that’s like??”

“Actually, none of us do. That’s why we came to you!” Peridot’s wide grin was as labored as Connie’s breath. 

The girl looked to the floor, trying to shove down the shameful heat rising to her face. “I don’t know what else to do. Garnet and Pearl won’t answer their phones, and Amethyst left hers at the Temple.” She brushed her hair from her face, trying to maintain composure. 

Peridot attempted to cut in again, but Connie barreled through. “I figured I should take it into my own hands by taking him to the hospital, but that was a bust too.” Her right hand wrapped around her left wrist, the sting keeping her in the moment. “Now I’m out of ideas, and Steven just has to follow me blindly! Literally!” She took a moment, a silent apology for raising her voice. “And he can’t even give me a clue what happened, because he can’t remember anything. He can’t remember moms, or cats or roses-”

This time it was Lapis’s smooth voice that stopped her. “He doesn’t remember anything?? That seems much more serious than just a  _ crack-” _

__ “Have you tried healing him? I assume his powers are out of commission in this state, but perhaps-”

All of the overlapping voices were digging into Connie’s chest. “Yes! I’ve tried everything I can think of, but I can’t keep rushing after every half-baked idea I come up with!”

Peridot seemed unaffected by her tone, but the human could tell Lapis wouldn’t let her attitude stand. “Then why didn’t you come here first? Why did you waste time at this ‘hospital’?” She flicked her fingers into air quotes at the word. “Do they even know anything about gems?” 

The raw guilt sat heavy in her jeans pocket, her phone still ominously silent. “It was a dumb idea, okay? It was a terrible idea, and I shouldn’t have gone through with it.” The grip around her wrist was tightening, a sour reminder of the damage she caused Steven. “But I did, so now I have to fix it. And in the moment, I thought human technology could help.” The jacket weighed on her frame, barely managing to stay in place.“I guess... it wasn’t good enough.”

Her admission permeated the air, Lapis and Peridot sharing a silent glance.

Connie slipped her hands back into the warm pockets, wanting the moment to end. After the gems seemed to come to a nonverbal conclusion, Lapis’s glare softened. 

“So. Missing his memory and sight. What else are we working with?” 

The green gem tapped at her tablet, fingers working quickly. “Other than that he seemed to be fairly normal.”

Connie bit at her lip. “Not really.”

They both trained their eyes on her. 

Swallowing, Connie stood a little taller. She was useful. She had observed Steven more than anyone else had that day. She could finally  _ do  _ something. “He can remember most things, just not anything personal. And he couldn’t… he doesn’t remember a few specific words.”

Peridot typed along as she spoke, remaining strangely quiet. Lapis simply listened, leaning against the edge of one of the display cases. “I can’t find anything they have in common, and he only remembers them with extra prompting, like ‘mom’. And, sometimes they made him have these moments?” She stared at the tile floor, so similar to the one in her Mom’s examination room. “Where his skin would go bright,  _ bright _ pink. 

“And I don’t think he realizes what’s happening? It’s like- he’s like a scared animal. Just trying to make the pain stop, and that’s when the cracks get worse.”

She looked up from the patchwork of the tiles, meeting Lapis’s thoughtful expression. “That seriously doesn’t sound like just a crack.”

Peridot nodded. “I was coming to that conclusion myself. After all, it’s near impossible to chip a Diamond, let alone create this level of damage.” 

Focus on the information they did have. Keep moving forward. “Near impossible- so not impossible.” Connie observed. “When I first found him, I thought something broke in. The room was a mess- I figured it was a corrupted gem attack.”

Scrolling over her notes, Peridot began to pace their corner of the greenhouse. “That would be highly unlikely. According to my various deployed rovers, we’ve already bubbled all of the corrupted gems on Earth.” She snickered, flipping a petulant hand at Connie. “And knowing the fortifications Bismuth applied to the Temple during renovations, I sincerely doubt anything could have snuck in.”

She paused, typing something before swiping. Connie really wished Peridot would just look at them. Give either of them some form of connection. “You say the crack exacerbates during these ‘moments’?”

At her hesitant nod, Peridot hummed. “It is possible that the crack might not have come from an outside force, but rather an inside one.”

Lapis and Connie looked at Peridot, confusion scribbled plainly across their faces. The green gem sighed, readjusting her visor. “Under too much pressure, gems can be known to crack.” She began to sketch out another diagram on the tablet.

Peridot dragged her finger across the screen, displaying a generic organic shape. “Before emerging, gems are created by intense force being applied from all directions.” Angry arrows pointed at the amorphous blob, condensing it’s curves into edges until it resembled the face of a gem. 

“Though, in rare cases, too much pressure can be applied.” The points got sharper, the mass denser. “Until it becomes too much to handle.” The poor shape began to shiver, claustrophobic and overwhelmed, until- 

_ Snap.  _

A chill ran down Connie’s spine, the sound reminding her of the give of a bone breaking. 

Meanwhile, Lapis seemed unimpressed. “You realize Steven wasn’t made like that, right? Even if he was, I think we would have noticed a crack by now.” 

With a scoff, Peridot deleted the sketch. “Obviously! That was just a demonstration.” Lapis rolled her eyes, and Connie wondered how they survived rooming together for so long. “Gems that emerge cracked are generally faulty by design, and are disposed of.” 

Ignoring the discomfort of  _ that  _ idea, Connie shifted in place. “You mentioned that it could be from an inside force? That still feels very… outside.”

Peridot pressed a finger toher visor, irked by the interruptions. “Again, it was merely an example. You two take things far too literally.” She wandered to a stool, probably used to reach some of the hanging plants. 

She stomped to the top of it, making small ‘nyeh’s along the way. 

Reaching the top, she dramatically held out a pointer finger on each hand. “My point is!! This can occur  _ after _ a gem emerges as well!!” Connie crossed her arms, watching the display. “Gems are designed to gather and process information quickly for analyzing potential colony sites. If too much stimuli overloads the system all at once, a weaker gem can be known to crack.” 

The stepstool wobbled under Peridot, and Lapis let out an exasperated breath. “But Steven’s  _ not  _ a weaker gem. He’s a Diamond.” 

Connie watched Lapis’s wings shoot out from her gem. She stepped in, trying to do her part to piece the puzzle together. “And a human.”

Peridot nodded. “Two very different groups of specimens. Where Diamonds are structurally flawless, humans are…” she trailed off, gesturing at Connie. “You know.”

She wished she could let herself be angry. Just a little. But right now, solving the puzzle was more important. 

Thankfully, Lapis interjected before Connie. “What’re you saying then? That Steven just- cracked under stress? Is that even possible?”

Peridot shrugged. “It’s merely a hypothesis. It’s unclear if a Diamond  _ or  _ a human could crack under pressure. If I could properly examine his gem then I could possibly deduce what really happened.” 

Lapis’s deep blue fingers pinched the bridge of her nose, wings fluttering. The movement flung a few stray droplets to land on Connie, darkening the vibrant pink jacket. “Let’s just- figure out how to fix it. Could we use the Diamond Essence?” The desperation in Lapis’s voice made Connie wince.  _ Why hadn’t she thought of that? _

“Well, the essences are used to combat corruption. Only Pink Diamond’s essence is necessary for a surface level injury.” She focused back on her screen, swiping through notes, as if the answer was hidden amongst the binary. “Besides, if it  _ is  _ coming from an inner source, then the likelihood of the crack coming back after healing is fairly high. Until the problem is solved at it’s root, he may be stuck like this.” Peridot’s eyes widened, realization clear in her voice. 

Connie’s nails dug into pink fabric, feeling the dots of moisture across the lapel. “It’s worth a try- isn’t it?”

Peridot shook her head, voice creeping toward panic. “If it was earlier on in the day, possibly! But at this point, he’s basically a ticking time bomb!” She bit at her fingers, pulling at the synthetic skin. “Any more time wasted dawdling around could be fatal!” 

Connie felt her stomach sink like lead, heavy and ill. Of course, all of her attempts led Steven closer to snapping. This whole day, all she had done was waste time. And they were running out. 

As if that revelation wasn’t enough to make her ill, a static-filled voice echoed through the glass walls. “What could be fatal?”

The teenager spun on her heel, her eyes meeting a vacant stare. “Steven??”

Said boy was just outside the greenhouse, half draped over Lion. He was missing his right flip flop, with a tear in his sleeve. The confusion he wore almost immediately evaporated into joy at her voice. “Connie.” His tone was still soft, filled with relief. 

“Oh, great timing Steven!” Peridot chirped, hopping off of the stool. “I hope you won’t mind me running a few tests and asking some very personal, very uncomfortable questions.” 

The boy ignored the technician, stumbling forward towards Connie. Only to immediately trip on a thick oak root with a yelp. 

Connie dashed to catch him, panicking at the distance she would have had to cover. 

Thankfully, Lion caught the back of Steven’s shirt between his teeth, in a slow practiced manner. His eyes glued to Connie, punctuating his annoyance with a huff. Steven giggled at the rush of warm air. “Thank you, Lion! Again.” 

The feline groaned, leaving behind miniscule punctures where he had bit Steven’s shirt. 

Okay, well. That explained the rips in his clothes. 

Connie clambered over the mess of chipped pots and bags of fertilizer and watering cans to meet her friend. 

He immediately clung to her, pulling her into a tight hug. “I missed you!” The points where skin met skin felt cold and clammy, with Steven shaking slightly. 

“I’m so sorry I left- you needed to rest, and I needed to keep moving.” She attempted to tug off his jacket to return it, but the boy was stubbornly attached. His arms were wrapped around her middle, leaving only her right arm free. 

She couldn’t tell if Steven had heard her apology and brushed it off, or if his body was simply chugging behind. Either way, his only response was to press a  _ kiss _ to her  _ cheek _ and  _ what-  _ since when did he  _ kiss her _ ??

“Steven-” The smile he wore reminded her of when they were younger, spinning in circles and giggling on the beach. The water sparkling as they kick up sand and her flowy outfits would twirl, shoes abandoned by the sea foam. 

Peridot’s voice rang loud in her ears. Reminding her of the reality of the situation. “ _ He’s a ticking timebomb. _ ” She could herself blanch, struggling to catch her breath. 

She didn’t bother mustering a fake smile, knowing he wouldn’t be able to see either way. 

Unfortunately, he also couldn’t see the panic she wore. So he sweetly hugged her closer, nuzzling his nose in her neck. “You’re so warm!”

Oh, right. She was doing something.

“Because you gave me your jacket.” She finally managed to wiggle the left sleeve off, even if it caught and pinched her bad wrist. He blinked with wide eyes as she draped it around his form. 

As he struggled to worm his arms into place, Lapis and Peridot stepped closer. Lapis seemed especially uncomfortable, shifting from sandal to sandal. Her wings fluttered as she held herself, looking him up and down. “He’s worse than I thought.” 

Peridot thumbed her chin, observing the hybrid with more scrutiny. “He certainly seems as affectionate as usual.” 

A dramatic gasp as Steven pulled from Connie’s embrace. “Oh! Peridrop!” The girl hated how she longed for the familiar touch.  _ Comfort object.  _

The shorter gem froze a moment, humiliated at his slip up. Lapis just snorted, shaking her head fondly. “No, actually yeah, I think you’re right. Same old Steven.” 

Connie tuned out the inevitable bickering as Peridot stomped her feet at Lapis. Instead, she looked at her bleary friend. “I’m so sorry. I thought you’d stay asleep, and I didn’t want to keep dragging out around, and- and you needed rest after-”

“Are you okay?”

A beat passed, and Steven rested his hands on her shoulders, gentle and sweet. She wanted to smooth out his creased brow, get rid of all of his needless concern. Instead she let out a bitter laugh. “I should be asking you that. How did you even get here without-” - _ shattering.  _ “-getting hurt?”

The mound of pink fur behind Steven grunted in annoyance. The boy nodded at Lion’s insistence, pivoting his body so the hand on her shoulder stayed firm, but so he could simultaneously pap Lion’s snout. “He is a very good not-dog.”

Her laugh was quieter this time, and more genuine. The image of Lion babysitting a fumbling Steven was admittedly amusing. She noted him smiling softly at the sound. “Yeah, he is.” She turned to said not-dog, apology written on her face. “I owe you so many Lion Lickers.” She decided to interpret his yawn as a sign of forgiveness. 

“Not to ruin this weird reunion,” When had they stopped arguing? “But need I remind you, this is  _ possibly fatal? _ ” Peridot over enunciated the consonants, emphasizing the situation. 

Connie nodded, embarrassed to have gotten distracted once again. She was sure she saw Lapis roll her eyes at the blush on her cheeks. 

She took a step back, trying to regain some distance between them. Steven let her, but only after moving the hand on her shoulder to interlock their fingers. 

Lapis stepped forward to fill the space left behind, kneeling down to observe his belly. She lifted his shirt, cringing at the carnage. Connie was thankful it didn’t seem to be any worse than before. 

A navy finger traced where stone met flesh, dancing on the fine line between gem and human. “Doesn’t it hurt…?” 

Halfheartedly shrugging, Steven smiled casually. “I guess? It’s more like a buzzing?” A bear passed, and he tilted his head towards Connie’s. He kept his crackling voice a whisper, the low baritone rumbling in his chest. “Who is that again?”

Despite his attempt at discretion, Lapis pursed her lips. Peridot merely giggled, satisfied with her indirect revenge. “Same old Steven, eh Lazuli?” 

Lapis stood back to her full height, glaring at the chuckling figure. “How do we fix this.”

Their banter quickly dissolved into another heated argument, Lapis beginning to hover as her wings flapped. 

Connie nervously turned to Steven, who’s brow was creased in concentration, as if trying to keep up with the fast paced dialogue. 

The girl swallowed thickly. They were just wasting more time- again. How many more arguments could they afford? How many more words would send Steven into hysterics? How long did they have until his gem would give- arrows pointing and pushing from every direction?

All of the puzzle pieces were splayed on the table, clear as day. Each one a strange, convoluted shape that didn’t align with any matching colors or patterns.

Connie glared at the stained floor, the chips and grooves smoothing away into the endless expanse of shimmery white.  _ Think, Maheswaran. Do something.  _

“Connie?” His voice was so, so soft. So good-natured. He had no idea what he was inching closer to, what Connie was haphazardly dragging him towards.

It was like quicksand. With every move she made to pull them free, the ground engulfed them further, and soon Steven’s hollow eyes would slip beneath the surface, swallowing him whole. “Connie?” They couldn’t afford any more mistakes. A single slip up could mean the end for Steven. For everyone. 

She finally turned to look at him, at the worry lines etched into his face. “You never answered my question.”

She glared at his shirt, the subtle cuts from where Lion had to take over watching him. The yellow layer acting as the only shield between Connie’s frustrated glare and his Diamond. 

His- oh. 

Just like that, the pieces clicked together. 

“I know where we need to go.”

Lapis and Peridot’s incessant squabbling suspended, their attention rerouting to Connie. 

She could imagine the crater a few feet away, reflecting an angry magenta. The only flaw in a perfectly designed room. 

“Connie? What’s-”

She squeezed his hand to cut him off. This was their last chance. Their final shot before time ran out, and the countdown stopped. 

“I know where we need to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere out there is a scene of Steven aimlessly bumbling around Little Homeschool, causing absolute chaos.  
> Also- I must admit. This chapter was SO hard to crack!! The dynamic between Connie, Peridot, and Lapis is an enigma, and “The New Crystal Gems” episode really didn’t help at all either lol.  
> I also really struggled to keep this from just becoming “The Exposition Chapter”, and I had to rewrite more than usual to keep it interesting. Hopefully it was enough!!  
> Thank you so so much for reading. Feel free to leave a comment with any feedback or critiques!! I’m always looking to improve my writing.  
> And as always- please grab a drink of water and a snack!! Have a great night :D!!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diamond sized problems require diamond sized solutions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW: This chapter has depictions of flashbacks and some intense imagery, so please be careful. If you need a recap of the chapter DM me at @goopyamethyst on Insta. Stay safe!)
> 
> Hello everyone!!  
> Firstly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you all?? So much????  
> The love and response to this fic has been absolutely astounding- we reached 4300 hits???? 50 bookmarks????? You guys are so wonderful and kind- THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! It makes me so so happy that you guys are enjoying and you leave such wonderful comments, I can't thank y'all enough.  
> Secondlyyyyy this ones a Long one. So settle in, grab some snacks and a drink, and please enjoy. I love you all <3

_ It had been a pleasant sunny day, pretty common for a July afternoon in Beach City.  _

_ She could almost remember the taste of one of her Mom’s sandwiches, as well as the warm breeze that kept blowing wisps of her hair into her face, catching behind her glasses.  _

_ They had planned the picnic ahead of time- as her parents preferred- and she had been thoroughly prepared, with plastic-wrapped snacks and a first aid kit all stowed away in her bag.  _

_ Looking back, it had been frivolous. Tiny details to frame the main event of the day, of her month to be honest. Her life had seemed to become a lot more interesting when he was around, both with his magical adventures and his general excitable personality.  _

_ Though, he hadn’t been very excitable that day. She couldn’t recall why. _

_ She remembered him grinning cheekily, his face obscured by a pink blob. She had to squint to even recognize he was smiling in the first place, though that was all she could gather without her glasses.  _

_ She remembered sipping his juicebox, tangy and chock full of forbidden sugar. She was staring into his sorrowful gaze, the soothing brown flickering gold in the midday sun. She had leaned in, hadn’t she? A bold stroke of confidence, something that had felt so right in the moment, like something she’d read in one of her novels. _

_ Then she remembered a whipping pain in her temples. Everything around the edges focused, the useless fuzz melting into undeniable clarity. He had healed her. _

_ The rest of it felt like observing with her old eyes, with memories of Jam Sessions blurring together into a carefree melody that made her long for Summer Break and the taste of something sweet. He hadn’t been happy at the start, but by the time he left he was elated, picnic abandoned to inform the gems of his newfound ability.  _

_ She remembered the surprisingly effortless give of the lenses, slipping from the frames and thudding to the gingham blanket beneath her feet. The wind had picked up by then, sweeping her hair behind her. Staring out at the ocean, she put on her glasses- her mask. Something she would cling to for years.  _

\---

She stared at the crystalline walls of the warp beam. The way it glistened vaguely reminded Connie of the sea. 

The rumbling, energized concentration of the warp felt odd against her feet. She curled her toes trying to adjust to the feeling, but eventually she gave into her mildly uncomfortable fate.

She hadn’t had to warp such a distance since the confrontation all those years ago. The distance meant a much longer time spent idling in the stream, especially when compared to the small hops she was used to. The twenty minute walk from the Temple to Little Homeschool was condensed into a couple seconds. 

Homeworld was lightyears away. 

The group was eerily quiet, Lapis’s hands resting in tight fists at her side, and Peridot anxiously clicking the same button on her tablet, attempting to give her fidgety fingers something to do. Steven kept his grip on Connie’s hand, swaying to keep his balance against the magic. 

It took a while of hushed discussion (mixed in with concerned questioning from Steven) for the two gems to begrudgingly agree, but the plan was set in stone. 

Heading to Homeworld would be the most efficient course of action. Sure, Peridot had insisted on analyzing Steven’s gem- but that would require reassembling her gadgets all the way back at the Barn, which would then require a lot of time that they didn’t have.

All in all, Connie was going to have to suck it up and face them. She could only hope that it would turn out fine. 

“Can someone please tell me where we’re going?” Steven asked, void of any expected frustration. It only held that same good-natured patience. “Or… maybe where we are right now?” 

Lapis glanced between Connie and Peridot, the latter simply pursing her lips and staring more intensely at her screen. Connie sighed, knowing she’d have to be the one to answer.

She ran her thumb along his knuckles in an attempt to get his attention. “We’re going somewhere really scary.”

He gave a bubbly smile. “You mean this hasn’t been scary already?”

The joke sat horribly in the tense atmosphere, curdling the guilt in Connie’s chest.

Catching onto the tasteless execution, he whispered an apology, fiddling with the pockets of his jacket. 

The pressure on her left hand tightened, and she swallowed the cry on her tongue. She swiped her fingers across her cheek, dancing over the spot where he had kissed her. 

It felt surreal, having both the soft, familiar sensation of his kiss paired with the pain in her wrist. If Steven got fixed she could ask him to heal it properly.

When-  _ when  _ he got fixed.

Backpedaling, Connie made another attempt at an explanation. “We’re going somewhere with a lot of… intimidating people. Who you might recognize.”

Nodding slowly, Steven’s distorted voice stayed low. “At least it’ll be nice to recognize someone.” 

Lapis crossed her arms, looking away from their banter. The buzz of the warp blended with the repetitive ticking of Peridot on her tablet. “I’m sure it would be. But I don’t think it’ll be a  _ good _ recognition, y’know?” 

He shrugged, lopsided smile playing on his lips. “Not really. I recognize you, and that seems to be good.”

Nodding placatingly, Connie gave his hand a weak squeeze. “Just be extra careful, okay?”

He thought for a bit, rocking on his heels. She watched the way Steven’s eyebrows pulled together, scrunching the skin between. It wasn’t cute at all. Absolutely not. “Only if-” He paused, reworking and retooling the sentence in his head. “You have to be careful too.” He dipped into a more genuine baritone. “If you get scared, I’ll protect you.”

Only Steven Universe, toeing the line of being shattered, would offer to protect someone like her.

A strained smile forced its way onto her face, a fruitless effort as his empty gaze was aimed behind her. “Okay.” She attempted to ignore the thick barrier of nerves filling her head. “Same to you. If you get too overwhelmed, or if your gem starts acting up, then I can protect you.”  _ No she couldn’t. She doesn’t know what to do any better than he does. _

Then the pool of light around them melted away, revealing the sharp, robotic expanse of Homeworld. 

Peridot was the first to step off of the warp, refusing to separate from her tablet. “Alright, all we need to do is question the local inhabitants of the Di-” she cut herself off with a glance to Steven, who was currently trying to crawl off of the extravagantly large warp pad. “-of  _ their  _ whereabouts, then we should learn what to do about Steven.”

Lapis’s arm stayed firmly in place, her navy fingers biting into her biceps. “It’s more... lively than I remember.”

“Well, of course!” Peridot’s matter-of-fact tone made Lapis roll her eyes. “Steven didn’t spend his developmental years rebuilding Homeworld’s political system for nothing.”

Said savior of the universe unceremoniously flopped off of their transport, his last remaining sandal balancing halfway off his foot. “I did what now?”

Connie snickered, helping to peel him off of the unnaturally smooth ground. “Nothing you need to worry about.” She better contained her giggles this time, though his adorable pout gave her a run for her money. 

With the boy firmly attached to her side, the group broke off to find their goal. Connie guessed that the gems would have an easier time getting directions. Mostly since she couldn’t even say the names of the rulers they were searching for without risking hurting Steven. 

Though, she expected to at least be treated decently. 

The stares and whispers that hooked onto the duo were very different from the curious crowd that she garnered back on Earth. Here, the gems either ignored her completely, or only offered her a disgustingly patronizing tone. One Zircon even slipped up and referred to her as a ‘lost pet’. 

That had nearly set her off, a vitriolic retort ready on the tip of her tongue. She would give  _ anything _ to let out her frustration on an ignorant, snobby gem. 

But, of course, Steven had stepped in and de-escalated the situation. Which led to another unexpected occurrence. 

In his ripped pajamas and blank eyes, it was easy to assume that very few of the nearby gems would recognize him as the royalty he was. Only when he opened his mouth, sounding choppy and faraway, did they realize who they were talking to. 

This sent them all into a flustered state, a few instinctively angling their arms in salute, before remembering the policies Era Three instilled.

Connie had to admit, the deep blue blush and frenzied eyes that overtook the posh Zircon was more satisfying than any lecture she could have given. Well, it was until she attempted to refer to Steven as ‘Pink Diamond’. 

Thank the stars he had previously persuaded most of them to use his real name, but leave it to the insulting gem to nearly send Steven into a spiral. Connie had barely saved it by loudly exclaiming that they needed to leave, pulling Steven away before he could hear the triggering words.

They weren’t any closer to finding the Diamonds. Not to mention, the swarms of clustered gems walking in their routined patterns puzzled her to no end. They had gotten swept away by one of the several tours, and Connie had to slap both hands over Steven’s ears as the plum colored Pearl began to speak about the War in extreme detail. 

Long story short, Steven was still confused, they had no connection to Lapis or Peridot, and Connie had gotten them lost. 

Maybe splitting up on an alien planet with no means of communication wasn’t the best idea. 

She unlocked her phone, hoping she could at least send a text to Peridot that they had gotten mixed with the crowd. Ultimately it was too ambitious to hope her cell provider offered service thousands of planets away. 

“No signal,” She muttered, glaring at the dozen unread texts and missed calls from her mom. “Of course.” She shoved it back into her pocket, scanning the area for a map or a sign. No such luck.

Leaning against one of the pale pillars, Connie allowed a heavy sigh to pull itself from her chest.

She recalled a lesson from one of her old wilderness survival books, stating that if one was ever lost in the woods, they should stay in place until an adult could find them. 

But that was when she was thirteen. She was hardly a kid anymore, she was applying to colleges! She was basically an adult herself!

Though looking at all of the schools of gems, brushing past her without a second thought, cornered by towering walls that nearly doubled the height of the lighthouse, Connie had never felt so small.

“It’s scary, isn’t it?” She hated how she had gotten used to the broken quality of his voice. 

“What’s scary?” She turned, seeing that he had sat himself comfortably on the rectangular base of the pillar. She slid down to meet him. 

A shake of his head and gentle smile made her knee bounce with untapped energy. “You don’t have to pretend. You’re in a new place, surrounded by strangers, and you don’t know what you’re supposed to do.” Every admittance felt like an added weight on her shoulders, her school bag filling with more and more pages and books of studying materials. “You don’t have to pretend that you’re not scared. I know how it feels.” He ran his thumb along her fingers, mirroring the movement she did earlier. 

When his intent set in, Connie felt like the worst friend in the world. “Oh,  _ Steven _ .” 

Of course he’d know how she felt, he’d been stuck in the same boat. They were both lost at sea, separated from their crew, without a map or a sail or any sort of clue to be found. Only, she knew how awful the situation was. He was being sheltered from it, unaware of why she was so desperately petrified, left on his own. 

“I know that you’re trying to keep me safe,” he spoke softly, like he had all day. She struggled to focus on him over the buzz of Homeworld’s limitless noise _.  _ “But who’s going to be the one protecting you?”

The question was one she had heard before, back when she started training with Pearl. What she wouldn’t give to be that kid again.

She hated the ugly sob she let out. She hated brushing away rogue tears that spilled over her cheeks. She absolutely hated the way Steven selflessly reached to pull her into a hug. 

But she despised how she knew she had to push his offer away, forcing herself out of her ridiculous slump. Standing, she reminded herself of her promise. “I’ll be okay, Biscuit.” The nickname slipped from her mouth, her voice quivering slightly. 

She dragged the back of her hand across her eyes, a few gems glaring at the display with disgust. 

Steven began to say something, likely to argue her claim. Thankfully, a high pitched voice cut him off. “There you are!!” 

Peridot was dangling under a flying Lapis, holding onto the other's wrists. The smaller gem kicked her legs energetically. Connie blinked away the remainder of her tears, scrubbing at her face and hoping that they wouldn’t notice.

Lapis dropped Peridot on the ground, leaving her to faceplant on the silvery pathway. “Did you find anything about you-know-who?” She asked, landing next to Peridot. She seemed infinitely more graceful in comparison. 

Connie shook her head, ignoring the concerned look Steven had in her peripheral. “Weirdly enough, not many gems are willing to chat with two gross, sticky humans.” She watched Lapis begrudgingly offer a hand to Peridot (regardless of the fond expression she wore). 

“Well, no need to worry!! A sapphire was able to get us directions to their current location!!” Peridot chirped, brushing herself off and readjusting her visor. “It’s just back that way down the main corridor to the right. And since we have Steven, we should have clearance!”

The girl grabbed Steven’s hand, helping him stand. “Perfect- no time to lose.” 

Connie followed behind as Lapis scooped Peridot up again, the taller gem presumably dropping Peridot for the sake of humoring herself. 

Steven trailed behind Connie, still wearing a worried frown. 

—-

Ignoring Peridot’s complaints about the slow travel (“ _ If you could just carry all three of us there this would go by so much quicker!” “The fact that I’m putting up with carrying  _ you  _ is more than enough. _ ”), Connie focused ahead to the absurdly large doorways they had to breach. The fact that mere minutes ago she had felt so defeatist that she couldn’t bear to search for something so obvious made her want to kick herself.

She couldn’t break down. This wasn’t about her. She rolled her left wrist with a slight wince.

At one point, Lapis attempted to say something to her, but one look at Connie’s stubbornly hardened gaze set her back to flying on track. 

Their path led them to a familiar Yellow Pearl, who gave them an annoyed once over. 

“State your purpose.” Her nasally voice was already too much for Connie’s frayed, overworked senses. 

With a shrug, Lapis plopped Peridot back on the ground. “Of course!” The green gem scrambled back to stand, her chest puffed proudly. “Peridot Facet-2F5L, cut-5XG. We have an urgent situation that requires the Diamond’s assistance.”

Connie glanced back at Steven, counting her blessings at his lack of reaction. 

Watching the Pearl scroll lazily on a holographic square in front of her, Connie wondered if all of these formalities were really necessary. Considering all of the work Steven had gone through to assure that all gems were treated equally, things like ‘stating your cut’ felt superfluous. 

Though, she supposed there had to be a line between accepting and professional. 

Another scrutinizing look from the Yellow Pearl led to a condescending hum. “It seems you don’t have an appointment.” 

_ Okay. Forget professionalism.  _

__ Connie shoved Peridot aside, dragging Steven up to the lion’s den. “We don’t have time for this!” She pushed Steven in front of the Pearl, reaching to reveal his mangled gem. “Steven is cracked. We don’t know what to do. We were hoping that  _ they  _ would.” Her sharpness sliced through the Pearl’s uptight demeanor. Between all of the judgmental passerbys, that pompous Zircon, and this Pearl's stuffy air of superiority, Connie couldn’t reel back the vexation that bled into her tone. Even if it wasn’t admittedly an ideal course of action.

“U-Understood.” The Pearl complied, positioning three fingers on her green tinted screen. She glanced back at the teenager, swallowing. “My sincere apologies, I didn’t recognize him in such a state.” 

Connie nodded, thankful that she didn’t have to push further. Peridot stared at Connie, clutching her tablet to her chest. Lapis whistled lowly. 

As the intricately carved doors slid open, Steven called back a ‘thank you!’ to the ruffled doorgem. 

Connie narrowed in on the gap between the doors, striding into the open room.

Now that she had all of her pitiful thoughts out of the way, she stormed them inside with a newfound determination. 

The doors melded back together behind their group, effectively locking them in. Connie surveyed the space.

A lemon hue flooded the whole area. Walls protruded straight up from the floor, before arching inward and to create a circular dome. Much like the rest of Homeworld, the floor was a consistent blank canvas, unnaturally smooth under her feet. Steven’s single sandal scraped across the surface, making her skin crawl.

In the center of the room, seated in two leviathan seats, were Blue and Yellow. 

Connie paused her resolute trek, allowing herself a calming breath.  _ That was in the past _ .  _ It’s just a thought. _

But when she shut her eyes, she saw their necks snapped to face them, pupils strained and dead set on Connie. Their limbs were rigidly and contorted, the life drained from their palettes, leaving them as hollow puppets. 

She felt Steven squeeze her hand.  _ I’m here. _

She squeezed back, pondering if he even recognized the sentiment. 

Maybe this was what Pearl meant when she spoke about walking into battle. Drawing her sword, staring down the enemy, throwing herself into the trenches for someone else’s sake. 

Or perhaps it was more like her fantasy novels, where at the end of the battle awaited a guaranteed celebration, all of the loose ends coming together in harmony, tying themselves into a joyous bow. The perfect happy ending.

Though as she stared across the empty warzone, doubt poured into her already clouded thoughts. The muted sound of her heart pounding helplessly in her ears didn’t feel like the astounding epics she would stay up late to engross herself in. And the otherwise silent, stagnant atmosphere didn’t match up with the heroic yarns Pearl would spin. This felt like so much more. And she was completely unprepared.

“Yellow! Blue!” She yelled up, surprising herself with how calm she sounded. Oddly enough, Steven didn’t give any reactions to their names. Not that she was complaining.

“Oh, Steven! What a pleasant surprise!” Blue cried, clasping her hands in front of her gem. “Don’t mind us, we were just having a friendly chat. And we weren’t even discussing the demolition of another species!” She preened at this fact, beaming with pride. She continued looking down at Steven expectantly. 

He simply turned toward her booming voice, craning his neck upward to follow the source of the sound. “Uh,” he said intelligently, offering an awkward thumbs up. “Good job?” 

When not immediately showered with appraisal, Blue quirked an eyebrow. She leaned toward Yellow, shamelessly whispering. “Is that not what we are supposed to do?”

Her opposite stood, towering to her full height, cutting off Connie’s attempts to speak. “Of course it is! That’s what Steven taught us!” She held an arm out dramatically, fawning over something she’d clearly heard him preach multiple times. “All creatures are kind and thoughtful, and it would be  _ wrong  _ for us to use their plentiful resources for our advantage!” She too looked down at the boy, peeking an eye open from her theatrical pose. “Isn’t that right, Steven?”

He shrugged slowly, his left hand twisting the corner of his jacket. “... suuure?” 

Peridot and Lapis had landed by now, standing behind Connie. She could hear the smack of Lapis dragging a hand down her face. 

Yellow’s performance stopped, and she leaned lower, squinting to get a better look at her faux-relative. “That  _ is  _ right, isn’t it? Why haven’t you corrected something I’ve said yet?”

Connie tried  _ again  _ to butt in, though it was nothing compared to the immensely louder volume of the Diamonds. “Or called out the behavior of one of our courts?” Blue’s hands went to cover her mouth, fingertips concealing her downturned lips. “Do you think he’s mad at us?”

Peridot, likely the only gem who could out-interrupt such royalty, screeched up at them. “If you clods would  _ listen  _ you would find out why!!”

Two pairs of geometric irises directed themselves to the small technician. Peridot’s boldness faltered under their crushing gaze, something Connie could sympathize with. “Ahem,” Peridot tugged at her collar. “Steven has cracked his gem, so he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. At all”

“Cracked?!” Blue and Yellow looked to each other, Blue’s sculpted fingers curling in fear. “How could this have happened…?” The accented voice trembled as she spoke.

“Whoever caused this will be  _ severely _ punished!” Yellow slammed a vengeful fist onto the rectangular armrest of her throne. “This is treason! Any attempt to harm someone of Steven’s rank is sending a threat to our entire system.” 

Connie  _ really  _ had to restrain herself from commenting on the irony of that remark.

Steven shuffled closer to her, the thundering words ricocheting around the room, searching to attack any onlisteners. “They’re going to hurt someone because of me?” Why did he have to sound so small?

She couldn’t even attempt to intervene on their fantastical, exaggerated speeches, opting to soothe Steven and assure him that no one was going to get hurt (even if it was technically a lie, his gem peeking out from one of the various holes in his shirt).

He had mentioned this once, how it felt near impossible to get any productive conversation out of his family. Their struggles to take accountability combined with their overpowering voices made for a ridiculously unfair debate. 

Lapis and Peridot were looking between the giant women, the former still holding herself at the elbows, and the latter feigning a confident pose. A beat passed, before they set their sights on Connie. 

Of course. 

All day, she had to be the one to make any moves to help Steven. 

Not that she would want it any other way, she vowed to protect him all of those years ago, didn’t she?

But surely she could expect better from people  _ thousands of years older than her! _

Suddenly, the leaders’ respective soliloquies had paused, both Blue’s watery eyes and Yellow’s fiery ones aimed at Connie. 

Oh stars, did she say that out loud?

Judging the way Peridot was gawking at her, paired with Lapis’s poor attempts to hide her surprised laughter, she did. 

Shifting her balance between her legs, Connie knew this was her window of opportunity. She finally had their attention, and she wouldn’t throw away her chance. 

“If you would  please  focus on fixing Steven’s gem instead of sitting here panicking about it, then maybe we could figure out what happened,” she granted herself a shivering breath, Steven’s awestruck expression pointed at nothing but her. “But he needs to be the focus right now! You need to put your own selfish feelings aside so he doesn’t get worse!” 

They all continued to dumbly blink at Connie, Yellow’s offence and Blue’s dismay written clear on their faces. 

Blue’s expression transitioned harshly, her lips coiling into something Connie could only name as contempt. “... and what gives you the right to speak to us that way?” She was a little startled to hear such spiteful words directed at her. “Last I remember, you were nothing more than Steven’s  _ pet. _ ”

_ Ohhh, if she had her sword right now- _

Thankfully, she didn’t get the chance, the giant slabs behind them were grinding back open. “Oh, what now?” Yellow mused, reaching a gloved hand to pinch the bridge of her nose. 

A cloud of shimmering smoke emerged from the other side of the doors, revealing the shadowing figures of-

“ _ Steven _ !!” All three original Crystal Gems yelled in tandem, posed in their respective fighting stances. Connie could see a frazzled Yellow Pearl stomping away through the fog.

The boy whined at the battle cry, burying his face into her shoulder. “Why does everyone have to say my name so loudly?” Connie intertwined their fingers, a grateful smile emerging. 

“They’re the Crystal Gems.” She informed, shaking her head. Finally, people who would take her seriously,  _ and  _ have a decent plan. Connie could cry with relief. 

Pearl’s pale hands were there in an instant as she kneeled to Steven’s side. “Oh my stars-  _ Steven!  _ Thank goodness you’re okay, when we heard that you were wandering aimlessly around Homeschool, we knew something was wrong!” She patted down his fluffy curls, feeling his arms for any injuries.

“Yeah, not to mention this was kind of concerning…” Amethyst held up a pink flip flop, tossing it to Connie’s feet. 

Steven gave no reaction to the  _ pap _ the shoe made as it hit on the floor. “...  _ what  _ was kind of concerning?” He asked lamely. 

Only then did Pearl tear her scan away from his torn clothes to spot his eyes. She let out a strangled noise, pulling her hands away. “He’s  _ cracked. _ ”

“Yeah, it takes a while to get used to.” Peridot agreed nonchalantly. 

The group watched as Garnet strode over, her usually stoic expression tightening into a frown. “How did this happen?” She asked, turning to Connie. 

“And  _ why _ didn’t you come find us??” Pearl interjected. Connie couldn’t help but wince at the evident disappointment her instructor felt. 

She attempted to stutter out her defense. “You weren’t answering your phones! And it’s not like I could have known where you were-”

“Why would we answer our phones, dude? We have to keep them off during class.” Amethyst said, her words clipped as she looped the length of her whip between her fingers.

Before Connie could even argue that Amethyst didn’t even bother bringing her phone, Pearl swooped in with more anxious queries. “Have you tried healing him? Have you tried his spit? His tears? The Diamond essence? The fountain??” Any hope of remaining confident melted through her grasp, color draining from her face. 

Pearl’s usually precise hands were now gripping tightly onto Connie’s shoulders, though she hardly even noticed the added weight. Or how the soft hand in hers slinked away. 

“No I-” She shook her head, disbelieving her own incompetence. “I didn’t even think of the fountain…”

Lapis flapped her wings furiously, her arms breaking from her protective stance into a more aggressive one. “Wait- seriously?!” She inched closer, the navy in her eyes like an angry sea. “You just,  _ didn’t think _ of it??”

Responding to Lapis’s offense, Connie resumed her defensive position, shoving Pearl’s hands off of her. “You didn’t either!!” She couldn’t help herself from snapping back at the terraformer, floundering to figure out when they had split into teams.

“I assumed you did!” She barely registered Peridot tugging at Lapis’s wrist, attempting to reel her back, out of Connie’s face. “I thought you were supposed to be smart!” 

What she wouldn’t give to have her sword. The powerful weight in her hand, flexing the muscles in her arm, allowing her mind to fall into its natural state of planning, strategizing every move, stalking every Achilles heel she could find.

__ But this Connie, weaponless and stranded, didn’t have the nuance to plan. She had been planning for hours, searching for the logic within Steven’s world of fantasy and magic, until her well had run dry. 

She was tired. She was cold. She was scared and lost and so,  _ so _ frustrated. So many writhing feelings, irritated from being pushed down and ignored all day were threatening to bubble over. “Well it’s not like I could even get there if I did!” The stress had been building and building in her chest, cracks in the dam splintering and begging for release. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m just a human! I can’t exactly warp him there myself!” Her breathing was stuttered, chest rising and falling trying to reclaim it’s rhythm. It was like someone had flipped a switch, turned on a faucet, allowing every angry, jagged thought of hers to be set free. “Maybe if you all hadn’t abandoned him when something was clearly wrong then we wouldn’t even be in this mess!”

Chaos split from her acidic accusation, sending the rest of the gems into a huffed defense as well. She knew it wasn’t fair to balance all of the fault onto the gems, but it wasn’t any better for them to shove it all on her either. 

Now they tossed the blame back and forth, any possible suspect met with simmering jabs and slights, before they could redirect the attention to someone else.

She couldn’t even make out any distinct language, hardly being able to connect the dots of when she was personally brought to the spotlight. All she could absorb was snippets of the rage everyone had averted onto her.

“If you had just-”

“-everything would have been fine if you-”

“-why didn’t you try-”

“Connie?” 

“-acting like this is all  _ our  _ fault!”

“I really expected better from-”

“Can you hear me?”

“-what were you  _ thinking _ ?”

Layers upon layers of words continued to weigh on her, the ghost of Pearl’s hands on her shoulders seeming infinitesimal in comparison. 

All eyes were on her. So many betrayed eyes had gathered in one place to support Steven, only to find that she’d been the one carelessly parading him around all day, wasting time and energy until there was nothing left. 

She went to squeeze his hand, only to find that his soft warmth was gone. 

She would have turned to look for him, but she felt frozen in place, her neck trained in position, forcing her to stare at the crisp floor, so much cleaner than the one in the hospital. This time she really could make out her reflection, like she had been set delicately in a still pool of water.

As she saw the wilting, terrified child staring back, her breath got caught in her throat.

All she could hear was the confused beratings from every angle, and all she could see was that stupid, weak,  _ useless _ girl wearing her father’s bulky coat, hair cropped to her chin, watching helplessly as her friend was whisked away by nails darker than night. 

She couldn’t look away, she couldn’t. She couldn’t-

“ _ LEAVE MY MOM ALONE _ !” 

The voice cut through the cacophony like tissue paper, it’s rigid distortion kin to a record scratching. 

His protective shout was loud enough to remain buzzing in the room moments after he spoke, effectively snagging the attention of all of the gems in the room. 

Finally, she managed to tear her gaze from the floor, to where Steven had herded the rest of the crystal gems away from her. All of them traded equally perplexed looks, before spilling all of it back onto Connie. 

“Steven-” hadn’t they already explained this back at the hospital? “I’m not your mom, remember?” He continued onward, either ignoring Connie’s quizzical tone, or being so worked up he hadn’t heard her at all. 

“Why are you all so mad at her?” His sincere confusion made Connie’s heart flutter, and caused the group to finally turn away from her. “I- I know she probably made some mistakes, and maybe she could have done some things better, but at least she was  _ there! _ ” She didn’t miss the hurt that plagued his guardians. It was gone as quick as it came. 

“This whole day, she’s been stuck wasting her time, running around to try and get me fixed. She told me that the crystal gems are supposed to be my mom but- but she’s been a better mom to me than any of you have!”

The boy reached his left hand out, a clear offering. 

Stepping forward to his level, she gingerly slipped her good hand into his. He laced their fingers, once again mimicking her actions. “She takes care of me, and she loves me, and I’m trying to do the same for her. All you’ve done is yell and ignore each other!

“I know you’re scared- believe me. I get it.” A wandering hand rested over his gem, and Connie had to swallow back more of her apparently endless supply of guilt. “But you can’t use that as an excuse to be mad! Really, that should be the excuse for being the opposite of mad.” He paused, grasping at the hem of his ruined shirt. Behind the blank look of his eyes, Connie wondered if he was struggling to remember how to properly stitch the words together. She gave his hand a squeeze.  _ I’m here. _

__ He squeezed back with a firm nod. “When everyone is upset and lashing out, doesn’t it make more sense to stop and listen to each other? If we keep going on like this someone is going to get hurt- or already  _ is  _ hurt.” He raised their clasped hands, obviously referring to a now surely blushing human. 

“Connie has been so hard on herself all day, figuring out how to help me get better. And, yeah, it’d be nice if she let me return the favor, but we shouldn’t hold that against her.” She knew her shoulders were tensing towards her ears, a shoddy attempt to hide herself. “I doubt any of you could have done any better, with all of the pressure she’s put herself under. In fact, I know you wouldn’t. You just proved you wouldn’t!” Their audience tensed, a handful averting their gazes to the marble flooring. “Instead of trying to be patient and understanding like she’s been, you all just- just ganged up on her!” 

A sweeping check on all of the gems resulted in a gallery of reactions. “If you want to help me get me fixed, then you have to be nice to her.”

The gems gaped at him, taken aback by his outburst. He held onto her hand vigilantly, feet planted on an angle. The stance was similar to when he would summon his shield. She wondered if he would ever be able to use it again.

_ Right _ . This still wasn’t really about her. Or them. 

She cleared her throat, about to address that fact, and hopefully peel all of the attention off of herself, when Garnet stepped forward. 

The fusion looked between the duo, her reflective visor disappearing in a flurry of sparkles. “I’m sorry, Connie.”

The girl swallowed at the Garnet’s words. “We were caught up in the moment, and it wasn’t right for all of us to place all of the blame on you. We should have been there.” 

Refusing to accept the kindness, Connie stared at her feet. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I shouldn’t have- it’s not any of your faults that Steven is hurt.” She remembered how desperate he had sounded on the phone.  _ How long had it been? _ “I should’ve been there for him too. And- and if I had just tried harder, or thought it through better-”

Garnet kneeled to Connie’s height, their eyes level. “You were doing what you thought was best given the situation, and I thank you for that. For taking charge.” The gentle smile she gave the teenager was sincere in a way that made her want to collapse into her arms. “You did a fine job, Connie.” It felt like she had just slipped her backpack off after a long school day, the phantom pain slowly melting away.

“Thank, ma’am.” Came her involuntary reply, sounding stilted in the vulnerable atmosphere. Thankfully, Garnet accepted it with an understanding nod. 

Shifting on her knees, she ran a hand through Steven’s curls, glasses returning with the wave of her hand. “Even cracked, he’s still our Steven.” 

He blinked in her direction, smiling back. “... who are you again?”

Connie shook her head, trying to smear away the embarrassment of having Steven lay her psyche on display for all to see. “Whatever- we still have to focus on getting him fixed.” She glanced to Garnet again, tipping her chin to the intimidating figures in a silent question. She earned another nod, the fusion standing and stepping back,, leaving Connie at the helm of the ship. 

Breathing deep, the teenager stared down the Diamonds. “How do you suppose we go about doing that?”

Yellow raised her fist to her chin, switching and recrossing her legs. “Well- I would assume the essences would be mostly ineffective. Or a waste.” 

“Steven is not a waste.” She heard herself snarl.

Blue quickly came to Yellow’s aid, holding her palms out in an attempt to snuff out the fire. “I think what she means is, it would be an unnecessary use of the resource.” She twisted her hands together, wringing them nervously. “We can only hope that a trip to Pink’s fountain will do the trick.” 

Connie nodded, only for a sharp twist of her right hand to pull a yelp from her throat. 

__ A blinding magenta light obscured her vision, Steven’s eyes widening.  _ Shoot, shoot! Of course Blue had to go and say  _ her  _ name. _

“Steven-” her trials of calming him down were immediately shut down, his hand ripping away from hers. 

Stumbling back, Steven’s gem began to flicker, illuminating the surrounding floor. “What’s wrong with him?” Amethyst reached forward, longing to bring him back to reality. Lapis flew up from her desolate stance, inspecting from afar.

“Stop,” Connie commanded. “Touch makes it worse, my mom already tried at the hospital.” 

She was selfishly thankful he withdrew before he could injure her remaining arm, but the guilt replaced her gratitude. “I think these reactions are what caused him to crack in the first place.” She barely spoke, merely exhaling. 

“Makes  _ what  _ worse?” Blue kneeled from her seat, trying to get a better view of the panicking teenager. “Did I do something wrong?”

Connie shook her head, warding away the impending panic. Staring into the reflective surface of Garnet’s visor, she pleaded future vision could hold some form of key. “Will he be able to take another one…?”

The grim look on her face told Connie everything she needed to know. 

She dug her heels into the annoyingly tractionless floor. She couldn’t imagine having to battle in such a place again. “Steven, breathe. Please. We want to help you, but you have to calm down first.” She could see Pearl itching to comfort him, with Amethyst blocking her path. 

His hands buried themselves in his hair, sweat slick across his brow. She doubted he could hear her. 

Peridot was typing something on her tablet, various hurried whispers concealing his distraught breathing. Tears gathered at the corners of his glassy eyes, threatening to spill down his cheeks. He barely looked like himself.

No, that wasn’t right. He had looked different all day, bumbling and smiley. While sitting on his couch, kicking his feet innocently, he was different. Even while doing Steven-y things like offering his jacket or giving a dramatic emotional speech, he looked different. With faraway eyes that didn’t connect with people. He didn’t bounce when he walked, or sing little tunes to himself. 

But right now, eyes pinched in pain and fear, hunched low to the ground, withering away, she… she recognized him. 

This was the boy who nearly drowned in the ocean with her. This was the boy who gave every ounce of his strength when Spinel attacked, who shoved all of his instruments haphazardly under his bed. This was the boy who pushed everyone away until they couldn’t reach him anymore, replacing himself with a simpler, smiling husk. 

In these moments of horror and isolation, he held his clarity. 

So that had to be when she pulled him back in.

“Hey, Steven?” She kept her words low, inching closer. “Biscuit?”

That had to have done something, his hiccupping pausing briefly. He lifted his head in her direction. “Yeah- yes. That’s you. You’re my Biscuit, remember?” Her heart soared at the docile nod. “No one’s going to hurt you.” She tried to smother the tremors in her hands. 

He blinked sharply, hands slowly sinking from his hair. “No one’s gonna hurt me.” He parroted, steadily chewing through the words, trying to relay the message to his mind. 

She nodded, dusting her fingertips on the fabric of his jacket. “We’re all here for you, Steven. You’re safe.” A stray tear ran down her chin, hope swelling beneath her skin.

She pushed away the feeling of all of their stares, the way their gazes burned into her skin like needles. All of her focus was on Steven. “I’m safe.” He repeated.

“You’re safe.”

Iron grip on his locks released slightly, the glow of his gem dimming minutely. “I’m safe. I’m-”

But, of course, it couldn’t be that easy. 

Nothing about their lives was easy.

A singsong, honeyed voice flowed in from the corridor, sending electrical shocks up Connie’s spine. “Oh, Steven~”  _ No, please no. Not right now, not when we’re so close. _ “I heard you were visiting! Were you sincerely planning on dropping by without saying hi?” She could feel the hair on her arms stand on end, the floor alarming frigid against her bare feet. 

She didn’t have to even look at Steven to know the images running rampant behind his shielded eyes. She saw the same dagger-like nails, black as coal and cutting as ice slice into his flesh. Wrapping around his gem. Splitting him in two-

Steven’s shivering stopped. Connie’s breathing stopped. Time itself seemed to take pause, giving them one final second. One last calm, peaceful reprieve. 

White Diamond’s elegant form waltzed in from around the corner, smiling sweetly. “Aren’t you in there, Starlight?”

A sickening  _ crack!  _ echoed in the chamber, and Steven’s grip fell slack. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... cha cha real smooth
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! I usually try to keep chapters within 3,000-4,000 words, but by the time I was finished with the rough draft it was already at 6,000 and I couldn't stop.  
> I hope you all enjoyed, and please get a good night's rest tonight! Leave a comment if you'd like, I read every single comment and appreciate them all so much, even if I don't respond to them.  
> Have a good one!! Stay safe <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven runs out of time.

Someone was carrying him. 

Their arms were wrapped around his back and legs with little to no effort, with two cool spots protruding from their hands. The feeling was weirdly nice. 

Everything was moving up and down, up and down, with air rushing past. It almost felt like he was running. Except he was being carried. So whoever’s arms he was currently swaddled in must be the one running. Wait, why were they running? Why the hurry?

There were a lot of people talking. A mess of gibberish that mixed together into a painful tangle that he didn’t want to hear anymore. 

Or feel anymore. All of the noise was so loud that the thing on his stomach felt like it was about to rip apart. Though, maybe the noise was because of the pain. He couldn’t really tell. 

He tried to just focus on the feeling of the two cool spots. Or maybe the rest of their body instead, since he was starting to feel really cold really fast. 

Squirming a bit to get away from the now freezing points, the person carrying him spoke softly. He didn’t really listen, but they didn’t sound too happy. And he wasn’t supposed to make people not-happy, so he stopped moving. 

Plus, trying to readjust made the stabbing feeling come back, and there was a high pitched whine. Shoot, that was from him, wasn’t it? 

Oh wow. Maybe a  _ lot  _ of the noise was coming from him. Ignoring all of the people talking and whispering or shouting, he could still hear  _ so much _ . 

He could hear his labored breathing, working overtime to properly expand and contract his chest. He could hear the blood pounding in his head, rushing past his ears and making them buzz. 

He missed when his stomach would just buzz. This was so much worse, like something firey was sizzling at his skin, burning every inch to ash. 

And everything had gone blank again! He had  _ just _ figured out what was going on, and was starting to connect names to voices, and then… something happened? 

Last he could remember, someone was wrapping him in the warm thing. He was wearing it now, and it didn’t smell the same after he got it. 

It smelled like strawberries and clean laundry. 

It reminded him of Connie. 

Oh- Connie!

She was the one who gave him his warm th-  _ jacket _ ! Oh yeah. It was all coming back. 

He remembered that part from earlier. He was with Lion (officially crowned his favorite Not-Dog) and there were two others. They kept talking about something with a lot of pauses and whispers, and Connie kept trying to keep him out of it. Then they went somewhere really floaty, where she told him things would be scary. And now, somehow he got here? And someone was carrying him. 

Huh. Connie was right after all. This was really scary. 

She would know where they were. She always knew everything. He loved how smart Connie was, always coming up with ideas and being patient when he couldn’t keep up. 

Maybe she could explain where they went. How they got there- here? 

Maybe she could fix the terrible, white hot agony that made his stomach feel like it was about to rip in half. 

“Hang in there, Steven.” That voice was nearby at least. The chest pressed against his side rumbled as they spoke, deep and cool in an attempt to remain collected. And- right. His name was Steven. 

He couldn’t figure out why that fact made the searing pain worse. 

In response, his jaw clenched tight as he tried to bite back another pitiful whine. His carrier must have noticed, because they pulled him closer. 

Then suddenly everything stopped bouncing, or maybe just the person carrying him did. 

“W-where’s-” Oh, gosh. Talking was a lot harder than he remembered. “Where’s… Connie?” 

Something soft took his hand, though it’s grip was much tighter than he was used to. “Right here, Biscuit.” 

“Do you want the jacket?” He had to pause to catch a breath. “You’re really shaky.” And she was! She was moving a lot, holding onto him like a lifeline. She must be cold again. He wanted to feel more of her skin to check, since her palm didn’t feel cold at all.

It was a lot different from the two cold protrusions from his carrier’s hands, and it wasn’t that blistering hot emitting from his stomach either. It was just nice. 

There was a sniff and a tiny Connie laugh (he could listen to that sound endlessly). “No, that’s okay. You need it more right now.” She sounded so scared. Why was she so scared? He had been scared all day, so maybe he could finally return the favor and help her feel better. 

Right when he was tossing around ideas of how to calm her down she ran the flat of her thumb across his knuckles, and suddenly he forgot what he was thinking about. All he wanted was for her to keep doing that.

But instead the mystery arms wrapped around his back strained to shift him closer. “Don’t talk. Save your energy.” They sounded scared too, but in a much less familiar way. Like if he didn’t know her so well he wouldn’t have known-

That was a weird thought. He didn’t know them at all? They didn’t even sound scared. How could he tell that they were?

Maybe because of the way they shook more subtly than Connie, and their chest kept going soft, like it was struggling to stay in one piece. 

Today was weird. 

He kept trying to focus on something, anything he could possibly think about or question, anything to keep his mind off of the dizzying, overwhelming hurt fogging up his every thought. 

Connie’s hand slipped away and he immediately reached for it again. But then there was more movement, like they were hurrying again. 

He didn’t want to be away from Connie, so he tugged his jacket closer around him, like a cozy blanket. 

While trying to properly curl himself in the coat, his fingers brushed against something emerging from his belly. 

The action sent a blinding jolt of  _ OW  _ up and down his body, starting at his stomach and running down through his legs to his toes, extending further into his chest, where it sat and made his insides boil.

_ Okay, so. Note to self. Don’t do that again.  _

__ But… was there really any other way to figure out what was happening? No one else was going to tell him, and it was clear whatever was wrong was because of that dumb thing in his stomach! 

With no other leads, he roamed to the edge of his shirt, where he found a few holes. Where did those come from again?

Mystery for another day, he had to focus on the  _ thing _ . 

His fingers carefully encased the spot around his bellybutton, trying to remain still against the jarring _ thudthudthud _ of his transportation’s harried footsteps. 

He could go right along the edge, where his skin faded away into something smooth and dense. 

Feeling himself shudder, he wondered if it was supposed to be there. Maybe whatever it was had pushed its way in through the skin. Maybe it just had to come out…

He cried out, an agonizing feeling of something pulling,  _ splitting _ \- 

The pain yanked both his hands and his train of thought away. 

Someone above him said something, but he didn’t understand it. Everything was too loud and too much and he was desperately trying to cling onto the memories. He couldn’t stop thinking about… 

Wait, what was he thinking about? 

Where were they again?

Weren’t they just at the…

He blinked. 

Someone was carrying him. 

—-

Connie loathed this day. 

She had seen her best friend in a lot of… compromising positions, to put it lightly. Some better than others (the fact that him turning himself into a baby was one of the more tame experiences was proof enough), but seeing him writhe and fail to contain broken whimpers was just heartbreaking. 

Watching White dance into the room had been chilling enough, only for her to hear the  _ snap _ of something to her right. 

Connie almost wished that it had been something more dramatic, something more substantial. 

Instead, he stumbled backward, a shakily covering his stomach, eyes pinned wide.

He stood, swaying ever so slightly. His knees looked like they were about to give out. His jaw had gone slack, leaving his mouth barely open in an enigmatic expression.

Connie knew she had to do something and she had to do it  _ now- _

But she couldn’t move. Her feet were stuck to the floor. She couldn’t tear her gaze away. 

He just looked so empty. 

Thankfully, Garnet swooped in, catching him before he could crumple to the floor. 

White parted her glossy black lips to speak, but Garnet was faster. “We need to get him to the warp-  _ now. _ ” 

“Oh, but you just got here!” White exclaimed, flaunting her ivory smile. “I’m sure whatever is wrong with Steven we can-”

The group brushed past, denying her any of the attention. 

Connie ignored the indignant huff she gave, working to keep up with Garnet’s longer, quicker strides. 

Lapis had tugged Peridot up again, gripping at her elbows. The green gem dangled above Steven, where Connie couldn’t quite see. 

“Incredible! It’s almost as if his gem is-”

“P-Dot, now is  _ not  _ the time to psychoanalyze Steven’s breakdown.” Amethyst spat, somehow faring the speed better than Connie. 

She could hear the disgruntled conversations of nearby gems, Pearl maneuvering them all out of the way, which only made their upset worse. 

The group’s panic had completely interrupted the flow of Homeworld’s routine patterns, and Connie couldn’t ignore the scandalized glares. 

Garnet made it to the warp first, clutching Steven tightly to her chest. She turned to watch the rest of the group catch up, and Connie almost stumbled upon meeting Steven’s eyes.

His whole body was shaking, almost glitching out of focus.

No, she couldn’t freeze up  _ again,  _ she hadn’t done that in years and suddenly she had managed to do it twice in a matter of minutes what was  _ wrong _ with her-

A navy hand on her shoulder yanked her from her stupor “Keep moving.” Lapis kept her voice firm, eyes hardened. Connie responded with a stiff nod, noting Peridot was now settled on Lapis’s like a triangular backpack.

Though, instead of allowing Connie to keep clambering along with their heightened magical speed, Lapis took grip of her wrists. It pinched her left one, forcing a strangled yelp from her. 

If Lapis heard, she didn’t acknowledge it, opting to lift Connie in the air, soaring above the crowd and toward the warp, where Pearl and Amethyst were exchanging uneasy looks on either side of Steven. 

Adjusting to Connie’s attempts to move, Lapis left the girl suspended before catching her by the waist. She rolled her wrist, wincing a bit at the feeling. 

She had gone from leading the fight, and pushing onward all day, to an irritable ragdoll to be tossed about. At this point, with the foregin air blowing her hair about, probably smacking Lapis in the face, she couldn’t care less. She just needed Steven to survive. 

Lapis released her gently, giving much more care compared to her usual treatment of Peridot. Connie pointed her toes, easing onto the warp.

“Hey… so what was-” Lapis began, gesturing to Connie’s bad wrist. 

She shut the question down before the gem could finish. “It’s nothing,” It really didn’t even hurt anymore, just when she moved it or if someone touched it. “We have more important things to worry about.” Her eyes caught on the way Steven’s chest stuttered, the natural rhythm dissolving into a jagged pulse. 

With everyone present, the limpid beam swallowed them. 

A meek voice rose along with the stream, sounding strained. 

“Where’s… Connie?” He managed to cough out, his arm weakly stretching outward.

The way her heartstrings pulled taut at his words made her eyes sting. After all of this, he still wanted  _ her? _

She reached to take his hand, hesitating before she met him halfway. The boy looked so fragile, like a single press on his skin would make it splinter and shatter like glass-

The metaphor left a tart taste on the back of her tongue. Too accurate.

She looked to Garnet’s dark glasses, her mouth still tugged into a frown. Without even having to think the question, the fusion gave her a nod. 

Feeling his (fading) warmth was proof that he was still here. That they still had time. “Right here, Biscuit.” She sounded just as bad as him, voice cracking with stupid emotion. She could only hope that she was at least a bit more comforting and confident than she felt. 

“Do you want the jacket? You’re really shaky.”

She shook her head with a disbelieving laugh. A wobbly smile grew on his face at the sound. Who in the world hammered the idea of selflessness so intensely into his head? 

Connie allowed him to believe that her shivering was from the cold, and not from the chilling truth that he was running out of time. 

“No, that’s okay.” She exhaled. “You need it more right now.” She didn’t know how else to help him, but she so desperately wanted to pull him close. Wanted to be rid of the haunted look in his vacant eyes and replace it with his old excitable shine. 

Instead she weaved her fingers in his, careful not to cause more damage. 

The weak smile grew a bit, his head cradled in the crook of Garnet’s arm. The fusion whispered something to him, but it was too gentle for Connie to decipher. 

“May I continue my observation now?” Peridot asked, eyeing Amethyst.

At her distant shrug, Peridot leaned over Lapis’s shoulder (nearly knocking them offbalance) to peek at Steven. “ _ Ahem _ \- as I was saying, his gem’s reaction is utterly fascinating.” Her nose was once again pressed to her screen, swiping and tapping away. “His response to White’s voice was practically immediate!”

“Weird. I’d call it less ‘fascinating’ and more ‘deeply troubling’.” Amethyst deadpanned, feigned aloofness and all. 

Peridot shifted a bit, accidentally clipping her elbow against the back of Lapis’s head. The blue gem just closed her eyes and took a slow breath. 

Connie ran her thumb along his knuckles to distract him from the scrutinizing discussion, and she opted to ignore the way it made him melt in Garnet’s arms. “Yes, it’s quite troubling. But it could  _ also  _ help us understand what caused his gem to crack in the first place.” 

Flicking the back of Lapis’s head, the terraformer begrudgingly flew closer to Steven. “Based on his reaction, and the fact that these ‘moments’ only occur after certain keywords are mentioned, I think his gem is trying to protect him.”

Pearl brought her eyebrows together. “Protect him by injuring him further?” She thought for a moment, eyes narrowed at her pointed shoes. She turned her head away, the back of her fingers meeting her lips. “That feels awfully counterproductive.” Her other hand was protectively wrapped around her spear. 

“On the surface yes, but think of his symptoms! This differs from when Lazuli was cracked manually, as she could still recall names and voices, and even events that occured thousands of years in the past! But this...” Peridot gestured to the boy, wearing a grimace. “Well, I can only assume this is a gemological feature that didn’t properly translate to a human body.”

Amethyst remained quiet, refusing to look at the teenager in Garnet’s arms. Pearl just moved to cover her mouth completely, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. Garnet stood tall, staring darkly into the warp stream. 

Connie watched Steven breathe, gears turning and thoughts buzzing. Evidently her analytical nature was not quite exhausted. 

Blank eyes pointed toward the sky, every scraping inhale made the lump in her throat thicker. Stocky fingers twitched against her own. Just this morning every was fine, and Steven was safe. 

Though that wasn’t entirely true, was it? 

She pictured Peridot’s diagram, with sharp arrows cornering a pink hexagonal gem. Each one disguising a  _ rose _ , or  _ mom _ or  _ cats.  _

Something in her mind snapped in place, filling her with the same satisfaction of figuring out a particularly frustrating calc equation. 

“His gem is protecting him by wiping his memory.” She processed the words as she spoke them. Eyeing the injury, she saw the cracks had nearly crossed the entire surface, edging closer to sickly flesh. “That’s why he couldn’t remember that I told him that I’m not his mom. When I mentioned Ro-”  _ Nope. Do  _ not  _ risk it.  _ “-his mom’s name, his gem cracked more to wipe his memory of the whole visit.” The magenta surface glimmered as it reflected the shifting lights of the warp. “That way he wouldn’t have to remember anything painful.”

“Yeah, that whole mom thing was pre-tty out there.” Amethyst mumbled, arms still crossed over her chest.

A lump caught in the back of Connie’s throat, ignoring Amethyst. She was too consumed in this train of thought. “That means during our phone call…” 

“ _ I’ve been through so much worse _ ,” he had cried, face contorted in pure emotion in a blur of neon. “You’ve _ been through so much worse! Because of  _ me _! _ ”

Was that what he thought? That everything had been his fault? 

She stiffened, attempting to stay gentle in Steven’s weak grip. So different from how he used to be, strong and reliable. They could train together without worry, tackling and swinging an careless roughhousing. Now she feared a strong gust of wind would push him over the edge. He would despise seeing himself in this state. 

Her phone rattled in her back pocket, buzzing with an onslaught of notifications. She didn’t even bother checking. It meant they were close to Earth.

“I just wonder what was it about White that earned such a strong response.” Peridot muttered, looping her scrawny arms around Lapis’s shoulders. 

Connie felt herself tense, shrinking at the helpless expressions of his family. “You mean he hasn’t told you…?” 

Pearl lowered her hand, resting it just above her star insignia. “Told us what, Connie?”

The same misleadingly delicate hand, secretly precise and perfect for restraining a child human, slipping to cover her mouth, to silence her-

“Nothing.”

She noted Lapis glanced back to her wrist. Before either of the gems could call her out on her speedy response, the hum of the warp dissipated into thin air. 

Connie let go of Steven just in time for Garnet to start towards the fountain. 

The entire group followed, this time with the human brushing past Lapis’s offer for a lift. She should have denied the first time as well.

Skidding past a pointed archway, Connie rushed down half of the stairs before jumping to the stone floor, bending her knees to absorb the shock. 

Even after hearing Steven’s hyperbolic retellings of events that happened here, the fountain’s garden was still more grand than she could have imagined. 

She had ignored rose bushes blooming around the warp, following the gems to a stairway and star shaped entrance. The symbolic structure had been repeated in a radial pattern surrounding the middle, where a gorgeously carved fountain awaited expectantly. 

It was bigger than she expected, which was ridiculous considering that countless of corrupted gems had needed to fit into it, including all four diamonds.

At its peak was a grandiose granite sculpture of Rose, with small pink petals flowing past in the air. The image looked like something right out of a painting. 

Coiling stone curls spilled across the statue’s shoulders, her dress etched to replicate something puffy and soft. It’s expression was peaceful despite the tears that cascaded down the face, into the pool below. 

Moving between Amethyst and Peridot, Connie stepped to the edge of water. It seemed to glitter and dance, even though it was at rest. 

Garnet seemed to pause next to her, looking up at the image of their former leader. 

Connie could see some of the gems doing the same, with Pearl bringing both hands to her mouth, eyes closed in a silent plea. 

The fusion kissed Steven’s forehead, a single tear trailing down from behind her visor as she gently guided him into the water.

Connie couldn’t look away. 

_ Let him be okay.  _

_ Please.  _

—-

Filling in the blanks, Steven decided that the person holding him was someone probably good, since they hadn't done anything to hurt him yet. 

But that didn’t necessarily negate all hurt he was feeling. No no, quite the opposite. The person holding him was probably the single thing keeping him from curling into a ball and screaming and pulling at his hair and ow ow ow  _ ow.  _

It was beyond ow. It made his insides churn, the running and bouncing up and down making him nauseous. 

He was sick of feeling lost. All of the sounds and smells and feelings felt disorientingly fresh, like ripping off a bandaid. 

Oh, so he could remember  _ that  _ feeling, but he couldn’t even piece together where the heck Connie said they were going??

Where was Connie anyways?

He was worried about her. She had been acting strange for a while, closed off and stiff. She was like that ever since they left the scary place with the chemical-ly smell that made his nose itch. 

Maybe the scary place wasn’t such a fitting name anymore, especially since everything nowadays seemed to be big and scary. It’d be too confusing with all of the other scary places, like the one with the monotone crowds, with people that kept ignoring Connie. 

She had been upset then, hadn’t she? 

That’s right! He had tried to get her to talk about it, but she pushed him away. Why wouldn’t she just talk to him? Why wouldn’t she just admit it was his fault-

A particularly strong jolt of fire zipped up his system, making his eyes scrunch up and his toes curl. He groaned, trying to keep breathing through it. Focus on the two cool patches that were pressed against his side. Focus on how the air was sweeter here (wherever they were). Focus on the sound of footsteps thundering against the solid ground. 

Okay- maybe not on the sound. It was too loud, bouncing maliciously in his head like a rogue pinball, striking at his temples and behind his eyes and was that just great _!  _ Something new that hurt. 

He tried to make his own sound, something more pleasant and soft. He copied the easy little song Connie had hummed. It didn’t work really well, leaving him feeling winded and forcing him to pant for a breath. What had she said about the tune? It was something her friend had sang with her? 

Maybe one day he could create a song for her, something just the two of them would know. It would be their little secret. 

The comforting thought was ripped viciously away. Scorching fire had crawled its way from his stomach to across his torso, any movement near unbearable. 

Resigned to simply lay limp, he managed a shaky sigh.

This was how it was going to end. He knew it. It was overpowering his thoughts, steering them all back to square one. He just knew it was necause of the stupid  _ thing  _ embedded in his gut. 

If he could move his arms maybe he’d reach to tug it free, but all he could do was try to grasp whatever else he was thinking about. 

With every passing second focusing felt more and more difficult, the scorching fire dancing along his mind’s eye, bright and colorful. It sanded away all of the painful, jagged edges into an easier smooth surface. Nothing was left behind, not even the hurt that the memories held. 

It carved away names and faces that made him wince, leaving behind an empty canvas. A blank wall missing days and months and soon years of stories. Of songs and missions and snacks and friends and  _ memories _ . 

Something soft and caring was lightly pressed to his sweat-slicked forehead, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care. 

He didn’t need to remember. 

He didn’t need to feel anything but the splintering tearing in his stomach. Maybe he didn’t want to. Maybe he didn’t deserve to. 

Steven didn’t deserve to remember. 

With one last sharp twist in his stomach, he accepted his fate. 

At least, he thought he would.

He noticed something loving and warm, tickling his feet and legs as it soaked through his thin clothes. 

It combated the white hot burns, replacing them with something cool, almost soothing. 

The water encased his fingers next, welcoming his arms and shoulders and legs and everything, everything,  _ everything _ \- until the water’s surface met the broken edges of his gem.

Then his eyes were pried open, and he  _ saw  _ everything. 

Saturday mornings spent playing Lonely Blade and Golf Quest with Amethyst. Afternoons with Pearl as they folded laundry, with her reminding him needlessly of the best technique, just in case he forgot. Evenings alone on the beach, sand between his toes, when Garnet would sit next to him and coax him to meditate. 

Weekends with Dad, soap bubbles in his hair as he helped wash resident cars. Weekdays at the Big Donut turned into visits to Spacetries, which turned into longing for two familiar scarred faces. 

Missions to the Kindergarten and the Sea Spire, or to a snowy tundra, a desert plateau, a presumably abandoned island. Stuffing his cheeseburger backpack became grabbing snacks for the road, which became slipping on his vinyl jacket. 

Meetings with the Diamonds, counseling with Bismuth and Peridot to gauge the construction of Little Homeworld. A welcome break after years of deconstructing and healing a broken system, only to rebuild it from scratch. 

Everything flooded in at once, and he realized the relentless stinging had muted to a tugging on his scalp, where his hand had burrowed itself in thick hair. 

It was all he could do to keep from slipping away from the present. To prevent himself from melting into the nostalgic, honeyed past that he longed to step back into, if only just for a moment. 

It was so much harder back then, constantly on the run, with a problem to fix or a gem to heal or a human to console. 

But wasn’t it better that way? Sure, it was a tiring routine, but it  _ worked.  _ It was comfortable. If he had something to fix he had a reason to stay around, for people to come back to him. For people to want him. 

And now…

The ghost of something sharp threatened to cut at his gem ( _ that’s  _ what it was called!), only for the bubbling sweet water to ward it away. Instead, it was felt deep in his chest, a pang of something that had been long ignored. 

He forced himself to take a deep breath, releasing the grip on his curls. 

Even without his tugging, his head still pounded at the influx of information pouring into his thoughts. Everything flew past in a blur of color and sound and  _ oh, wow.  _

Somewhere in the overwhelming moment of information, his eyes had shut again, shielding him from the afternoon sun. 

Peeling an eye open, relief flooded his senses. He saw the polished gray steps of the fountain, leading up to the warp entrance. 

Then there was Garnet, looking at him expectantly, stilled in shock. Behind her, the rest of the gems wore similar expressions, Pearl leaning on her toes, Amethyst holding her breath, Lapis hovering with unstable wings, and Peridot bouncing restlessly on her heels. 

He dragged his eyes back across the water, letting the liquid drip between his fingers. Trying to recall how he got there just made his head throb more, already feeling stripped raw. 

“Steven?”

He turned to his left, spotting delicately curled hair that framed a heart shaped face. Every muscle seemed tight, mouth pulled into a thin line. Had he not known her for so long, he might not be able to pick up on the way her jaw was clenched shut. 

Gorgeous black eyes met his standard brown ones. After a moment her features seemed to soften, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. 

Connie smiled weakly, unshed tears collecting in the corners. She said his name again, sounding so relieved, but Steven was too busy studying elsewhere. 

She held desperately onto the ledge of the pool, her left wrist seemingly swollen.

Frowning at his lack of reaction, Connie reached forward. 

“Steven…? Can you-” whatever she was going to say was tossed away as he gently caught her hand in his. 

Bringing the injury to his lips, he pressed a healing kiss to the inside of her palm. 

He watched as the reddish tint faded, Connie flexing her fingers and lightly rolling her wrist.

Steven looked up at her eyes again, confused at the awe and amazement that sparkled there, like stars on a moonless night. “It looked painful,” he quickly explained, worried he had pushed too far. “I figured you’d want me to-”

Now it was her turn to shut him up, arms looping him up in an embrace. The pure force of it splashed water over the stone wall, pulling a shocked yelp from a probably-now-drenched Pearl (which earned a wholehearted cackle from Amethyst). 

Ignoring all of the shenanigans behind her, as well as her now damp shirt, Connie coughed out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re okay.” She shook her head, pulling away to cup his face in her hands. 

Steven could only imagine how ridiculous he looked, hair and jacket sopping wet, cheeks awkwardly squished between her palms. “Uh- yeah? I’m always okay.” He laughed nervously, squirming under the teary eyed looks all of the gems were sending his way. “Did something happen? What did I miss?”

Connie shook her head, smile peeking through her calm facade. “No, you didn’t miss a thing, Biscuit.” She brushed the heel of her newly healed hand across her face, smearing the tears away. 

Before he could voice his confusion, she brought her forehead to his, closing her eyes with a soft exhale. He couldn’t help the hot blush that ran across his skin. “I’m glad to have you back.” She whispered, so quiet he himself could barely hear it. 

He blinked dumbly, fumbling to understand what the  _ heck _ was happening. 

Instead of ruining Connie’s clearly needed moment of reunion with useless questions, he tenderly took her hand. 

Unfortunately, the gems have never been privy to subtlety. “Steven’s back!!” Pearl cheered, wrapping both teenagers up in a crushing hug. “We’re so sorry, we won’t ever turn our phones off during class  _ ever _ again.”

“Dude! You’ve got eyes again! And- and you don’t look like you’ve got a foot in the grave!” Amethyst cried, joining the pile. This pattern of spewing grateful gibberish repeated until Steven and Connie were thoroughly trapped in a group hug. 

Not that he minded, of course. While all of the gems continued to mutter sentimental apologies and thank yous, Steven focused on a much easier to read, less overwhelming Connie. 

Pressed up next to him under the layers of bodies, he could feel the way her shoulders moved with every startled laugh. He could listen to that sound forever. 

Contagious laughter overtook the group, until Garnet finally shooed everyone away to give Steven some much appreciated space. “Okay, settle down.” She spoke, still smiling herself.

He stared up at her, watching as she adjusted her pointed visor. “Alright, Steven.” Garnet began, holding him steady. He took it and wobbled out of the pool, only to nearly wipeout from the speed Peridot rushed over, making him slide on his- where was his right flip flop?

“Okay- just to confirm!” She announced, lifting his shirt to show his gem. He mumbled a meek protest, trying to push the fabric back down… wait, was he in his pajamas? Why were there so many holes in his shirt??

Once again, none of these increasingly worrying questions got answered, and Peridot stepped back, wearing a smug grin, almost as if she were presenting a new meep morp. “See? Good as new!”

A glance down showed that yes, his gem was in fact  _ fine _ , even in something buzzing in the back of his skull demanded otherwise. 

Though because everything was upside down right now, the sight of his perfectly normal, average gem, made the gems practically explode with joy. Amethyst scooped up Pearl in a twirling hug, Lapis fist pumped in the air, all gleefully cheering and chatting. Well, minus Connie. She stayed leaning against the pool, a weary smile growing on her face as she watched the others celebrate.

He observed his friend for a moment, noting the way she glanced to the healing water. She rolled her left wrist again, as if she had forgotten she could use it. 

Noting she was also missing her shoes, a gloved hand came down to lovingly tousle his hair. “We’ll get you back to the Temple to rest. Your body may be healed, but it’s still been through a lot today.” Garnet said, in that special Garnet-y way that signified there was no room for debate. 

So, instead of questioning why he was missing a flip flop, or why his pajamas were full of holes, or why his head pounded, or why Connie looked like she had been raked through the mud, or when they even _ got there _ , Steven just nodded. 

He followed the group as they fell into comfortable banter, except for Lapis, who flew overhead. Steven watched them bound up the stairs, a proud smile on his face. 

Pausing for a second, he turned back to see Connie still against the fountain, glaring at her phone. 

“You coming?” His question seemed to shock her back from wherever her mind had wandered. 

“Yup!” Shoving her phone back into her pocket, Connie sped ahead of him and Lapis. He watched as she flexed her hand, reaching for something that wasn’t there. 

Facing Lapis, he cocked his head to point at Connie. “Is she…?” 

Lapis simply shook her head, and lightly pushed on his back, ushering him forward. “Don’t worry about her, bud. You’ve had a long day.”

Watching as Connie stepped onto the warp pad, shadows under her eyes and fingers still twitchy, Steven doubted he was the only one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHOOO!! Steevo is healed!!  
> What else could possibly go wrong? Ha ha  
> Okay, jokes aside, next chapter should be the LAST (as long as everything goes according to plan)  
> I wanted to thank you all for sticking with me through the months, and I know that I really should have been more diligent about getting these chapter out in a timely manner. Thank you so much for being patient, every kudos, comment, and bookmark makes my heart go pitter pat.   
> As always, feel free to leave any criticism or edits in the comments, grab a snack/some water if you can, and thank you so much for reading. Ily all <33333


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